When a girl breaks your heart
It can really suck when a girl breaks your heart. Not many feelings in the human spectrum of emotion can rival how down and depressed you can be after a bad breakup and that nasty feeling in your stomach that engulfs you.
In this article, I’m going to tell you may own personal story, and in the process give you some advise on how to handle these dark times when they inevitably cross your path at some point in your life.
You could be dealing with it right now.
It can hit hard if a girl breaks your heart when you thought that she was “the one”. It’s over, she’s gone. You know it, and there’s nothing you can do to get her back.
Sometimes you might not even want her back, but that still doesn’t make the horrible feelings dissipate.
I’m here to help with that.
Let’s begin, but first here’s some info about myself:
I am a member of The Paragon Project that has won numerous awards on this website.
I have helped hundreds (perhaps thousands) of people in the forums and in live chats.
I have provided killer techniques and Kris nominated me as the most respected member.
I can honestly say I can hook up with any girl and I’m happy in my current relationship.
I am a natural and have never had any girl problems, right?
It was the fall of 2005 when I first fell in love with a girl.
She was interested in me and I was interested in her. She kissed me on the lips and I was hooked, not to mention petrified.
Unfortunately, I was too afraid to progress matters with her, let alone muster the courage to ask her out. For months I waited and yearned for her.
Over the winter she returned to her old boyfriend that I was friends with. They broke up but remained friends with benefits.
My desire grew and grew as more time passed. Toward the end of the winter we would consistently kiss each other on the cheek, but I was still afraid.
She was so beautiful. My friends told me that she was no good and said “I bet that girl breaks your heart”, but I didn’t listen.
She was oh so beautiful.
More months passed for her to grow on me. The kissing continued, and I managed to gather the balls to ask her out to prom. We went, and in the prom pictures I was too afraid to even put my arm around her.
We hooked up that night and I went on and on about how much I loved her even though, looking back, she was boring.
At that moment in time – in my head – she wasn’t boring. I was the boring one who failed at keeping her entertained.
It was my fault.
I actually told myself: “If this girl breaks your heart it’s your own fault.”
A week later, after getting more addicted to her and doing tons of childish things, we went on a date to the movies.
I’m a gentleman, so of course I paid for her.
We didn’t kiss in the movie because I was afraid, but I kissed her on the lips as we left the theater and during the ride home I asked her out.
She bullshitted me with excuses, but I loved her so much that the insanity made sense.
She even told me how her ex and her were still hooking up. It didn’t matter to me; she was already mine even if she wouldn’t “officially” go out with me.
The next few months she would bullshit me and tell me she loved me but would still tell me how she couldn’t stop hooking up with the other guy, yet she hated him.
She said that she wanted to go out with me but just couldn’t, and I believed every word of it.
Every last word of it.
Come spring, we went on a field trip with our school. We were excited and we were crazy about each other. We were both absolutely infatuated.
That night at dinner her ex started holding her hand even though he knew we were going out. I’m a muscular guy and could have snapped him in half. My emotions told me to, but I was too nice.
For the love she and I had together, I didn’t.
Later on a bus I told her that what she did was okay and that we would fix things.
She told me it was all over.
I begged for it not to be. I asked her why, please just tell me why. She told me why, and I tried to fix things. Stupid me, I truly believed that it was going to be alright.
We still loved each other. Of course things would be okay if we both still loved each other.
But in the end it wasn’t alright, and it isn’t too much of a stretch to say that she never really loved me at all.
More time passed. Months, yet I still wasn’t over her.
School was ending and every rumor I heard of her hooking up with her ex boyfriend stabbed me.
Whatever. At least we were still friends.
I bought her ice cream every time we went out because we still liked each other so much. Even when she tried so hard to avoid my plans. I was on to her; she was just playing hard to get.
Deep down she wanted to be with me, right?
At her graduation party I made her an amazing gift with roses and memories of our relationship. Of course I had kept so many mementos from it, because our love was going to last forever.
She never even thanked me. In fact, she even forgot to call me entirely like she had promised.
She was busy though, so it was okay.
When she made me jealous and told me about her new relationships, it was also fine because we were friends now. All emotions were supposed to be gone, but honestly I still loved her so.
Over the summer, after she dumped me and was with a new guy, I asked her when she was free. She was busy whenever I was available, of course.
I’m a persistent guy and I’ll be damned if coincidence can stop me, so one day I stayed home from going down to the shore with my friends and went for ice cream with her.
Yup, I paid.
A little bit later I joked around and teased her. She got mad, got into her car and acted like she was leaving. I thought she was joking.
She wasn’t joking.
I drove to her house hoping she would let me apologize. She didn’t let me, and my stupid big mouth ruined it. I was so mean to her so I deserved it.
I didn’t think what I said was so offensive. It was just a joke, everyone else thought so.
Everyone except her.
Regardless, it was my fault so I deserved to never see her again.
In fact, I never did see her ever again.
At least I got to tell myself “I told you so”:
“See, I told you it would be your fault if this girl breaks your heart.”
It was that first “relationship” that left me heartbroken. Considering you couldn’t even call it a relationship, I was depressed for months.
Yet even in our darkness days, light shines through.
Some people meander towards the light: I sprinted right towards it.
After months of sadness and hopelessness, I dug my way out of it and strove to be my best.
I began reading relationship advice. I managed to get over her by reading articles about what to do when a girl breaks your heart.
Through perseverance, I read all I could and immersed myself in advice. It wasn’t long before I found this website and the forums.
That’s when everything changed.
I bought The Player’s Black Book and soaked every bit of it in, and then started getting really good with girls.
Like “any girl I wanted” kind of good.
After that, I started contributing my own ideas and discoveries and became respected by many for the knowledge I had gained.
Through such small steps I eventually became a counselor, editor and contributor for the Paragon Project.
Now here I am.
Thank you for reading all of this, it feels really good to get this stuff off of my chest.
I hope my story helps you to cope when a girl breaks your heart, and also inspires you to put forth the effort and become great.
If I did it, anyone can. I was beyond lost.
This is a true story, every word of it.
Paragon Project Member