How to boost your confidence
I’ve compiled a list of my personal favorite 10 ways to boost your confidence that you can turn to when you need a quick lift in your spirits.
While true confidence around girls can only come through experience, in order for you to have those positive experiences you’ll need to be confident to some degree.
This is somewhat of a catch 22, but the 10 ways to boost your confidence I’ve listed below prove to be a highly effective solution to this problem.
You DO have a lot to offer a women
This is how women think when they consider dating a man: “If I go out with him, what’s it going to be like?”
Overall guys are more logical thinkers while girls tend to be emotional thinkers. However in this case women clearly have us beat.
When considering a new girlfriend, our logic basically goes no further than how hot she looks, while women actually think things through – very thoroughly – before choosing a new mate.
In order for any girl to want to be in a relationship with you she has to realize that there are clear benefits for her to be with you. It’s your job to show her those qualities, but before you can show her what they are you’ll first have to find them for yourself.
Think to yourself right now:
“What do I have to offer a girl?”
I can guarantee that no matter how bad you might be feeling about yourself right now, you DO have something to offer her.
Just the fact that you’ve identified that you have a problem in your life (success with girls) and have taken the steps to solve it (finding this website) means that if nothing else you are a responsible man who doesn’t let himself settle for anything less than he deserves.
You’re a man willing to change for the better, and that in itself is something girls find very attractive. Ambition and determination are qualities in a man that no woman can ignore.
Once you realize that you can bring plenty of good things to a relationship, you’ll begin to display those qualities to the world around you and the type of girls you desire will notice it.
Stop thinking other guys are better
You might read through some of the posts on this site and be tempted to think: “Wow, these guys are naturals. I’ll never be that good.”
This type of thinking is 100% wrong.
Just about every person on this site has been an average guy – just like you – at some point in their lives.
If anybody on this site posting in the forums was born with the ability to pick up amazing girls with zero effort, then why would they have come here to begin with?
Everyone here at one point in their lives decided that they were unhappy with their success with girls and needed to look for advice to help them reach the level of skill with girls that they desired.
The important point to remember is that if they could go from being just an average guy to a certified boss, then you can too; if you’re willing to put in the effort.
You are entirely responsible for your own successes and failures, and one of the greatest ways to boost your confidence is to realize that whether you fail or succeed on any given night, that experience – good or bad – has made you a better, stronger man and improved you skills.
Dwelling on the past is pointless
Take all your bad thoughts about past failures you’ve had with girls and forget about them.
Notice how I don’t say bad memories? I said thoughts. You don’t want to forget those experiences because they quite literally teach you what NOT to do in the future, which is a good thing. It’s the bad thoughts attached to those experiences – the emotions – that are utterly useless.
Throw them away for good. Right now.
The girls who rejected you in the past have no bearing on how the interactions with girls you’ll meet in the future will go down, unless you are still dwelling on the past and can’t get outside of your own head.
Once you finish reading some articles on this site and log off, the entire game has changed. For all intents and purposes, every time you leave here you’re a completely new man.
Why? Because your knowledge has increased, and knowledge is power.
You now have a little bit more knowledge and a little bit more experience than you did before, and that new information could end up making all the difference.
You are not the man you were five minutes ago.
You are not the man you were last night.
You are not the average guy you used to be.
Your past actions only tell you who you were, your choices now will determine who you are.
Be different, just because you can
Following the crowd is easy.
You don’t have to make up your own mind if you simply accept the opinions of whatever group you’re a part of right now and just copy what everyone else is doing.
But why should you try to fit in if you can stand out? Getting noticed is a lot better than blending in, as long as the things that you get attention for are attractive to women. Do whatever you want that makes you happy, chances are you’ll end up pleasantly surprised at what may bring more girls your way.
You’ll draw tons of criticism for speaking your mind and standing out, but I’ll talk about haters in a moment and show you why you shouldn’t let them get you down and can actually use them as fuel to boost your confidence.
The people who are remembered in history books are not the ones who followed conventional wisdom and just went with the flow, but did what they loved and did it passionately.
When Beethoven wrote his greatest works he broke the accepted style of how a symphony should be written, and for it he is remembered as one of the greatest geniuses of all time.
He’s far from being the only one.
Boost your confidence right now
Here’s something that is one of the best instant ways to boost your confidence.
Go find a mirror and look yourself over, pointing out all the positive things you can find about yourself and ignoring all your flaws.
Next look yourself straight in the eyes and tell yourself:
“The best choice any girl could make is to be with me.”
Do this 10 times.
Then smile to yourself as you walk out the door to go meet new girls (force yourself to grin if you need to; even if it’s fake it’ll still put you in a better mood than you were in before).
Simple, I know. Yet still so very effective.
Small things make a big difference
The next time you are about to go out, take a little extra time to make yourself look slightly better than you normally do.
Brush your teeth a bit longer, spend a little bit more time shaving yourself and combing your hair, carefully piece together your outfit, iron your clothes before you put them on, and clean off every tiny scuff you might have on your shoes.
Doing little things like this helps establish in your head that you are going to look a little bit better this evening than normal, and that feeling can go a long way.
You’ll notice that you feel more confident knowing that you’re shaven just right and your shoes are nice and clean.
These little things may not seem like a big deal, but if you read between the lines they actually are great ways to boost your confidence rather quickly.
Everyone has flaws and insecurities
She’s drop-dead gorgeous – smoking hot – wearing clothes that compliment her curves perfectly and shooting men down left and right.
Kind of intimidating right?
Well consider this:
How much time do you think she spent picking out those clothes that flatter her perfectly?
How much money do you think she spent getting that perfect haircut or beautiful perfume?
Did she get in such great shape and a perfect tan by accident, or was just born that way?
The honest truth is that she cares about her relationships and appearance just as much as you do; she’s probably even more worried than you that she’ll never land the person of her dreams, or that he’ll find her and pass her up for someone else.
Girls dwell on that stuff a lot more than you might think, even hot ones.
She might want to get with you just as much as you want to get with her, but there’s only one way to find out.
All you really have to do is learn how to present yourself in the sort of way that will make her realize just how great of a man you truly are.
When you’re the victor, spoil yourself
When you do something to improve yourself and your game that you didn’t previously think was possible, reward yourself for it.
Don’t let the fact that you just picked up a hot girl that you thought you could never get be reward in itself; go out and do something extra for yourself.
Buy some of your favorite food, do something that you have wanted to do for a while, or any other reward that will boost your confidence up just that tiny bit more and make your accomplishment that much sweeter.
The important thing to understand is that you want to reward your successes and forget about your failures once they pass the point that they no longer serve as learning experiences.
You don’t need to “just be yourself”
What do The Player, Mystery and Style all have in common?
They’ve all created identities that are separate from themselves and established that they are seduction gurus.
The new identity that they’ve created can become legendary and seem to be larger than life.
So why not follow their lead?
Create an alter ego for yourself; give him a cool name, tell yourself that he is a pickup expert and go out and talk to girls while you’re in the mindset that you are playing the role of this other person you’ve created.
Before I go out to pick up girls I tell myself that I’m no longer Will, I’m Goldilocks.
Will is a pretty interesting person but he doesn’t get girls; Goldilocks does.
Will has only gone on one date and it was horribly lame; Goldilocks hasn’t had a bad date yet.
Will doesn’t ask any girls out but when he does they say no; Goldilocks has several girls he knows right now that are dying to be with him.
I use Goldilocks as an excuse to try everything I would otherwise be too afraid to attempt.
You should try this little trick as well. It’s one of the easiest ways to boost your confidence and have a bit of fun while you’re at it.
Even the worst haters can’t hurt you
As far as I see it there are two types of criticism:
Constructive criticism and insults.
Constructive criticism tells you that you’re doing something wrong and that you should correct it, such as:
“You’re a reckless driver and you need to slow down before you hurt someone”.
It is probably in your best interest to listen to this sort of criticism.
Insults however should be interpreted as compliments in disguise, because if people are hating on you it usually means that you’re doing something right.
If someone were to tell you “You’re a horrible dancer. Why are you even on the floor?” you might be inclined to get offended.
However you need to look past the actual words this critic said and see the silver lining. What he actually meant:
“You don’t know how to dance properly, but you still have the confidence to get out on the floor and enjoy yourself. I’m not anywhere near as secure with myself as you are, so the only way I can make myself feel better is by making your accomplishment seem less than it really is.”
Now after reading the second statement do you think you should let him get you down and feel bad for the rest of the night, or should you feel even better about yourself? Haters are just another one of the ways to boost your confidence.
Nobody bothers to insult someone that they know they’re better than.
Just the fact that he went out of his way to hate on you makes it obvious that he sees you as a threat. Hopefully that will help you ignore any haters out there that might otherwise throw you off your game.
Hate helps. Never forget that.
Well, there’s my top ten ways to boost your confidence and pump your head up when you need it most.
Whenever you’re feeling down of having a dry spell with women, just come back here to this article for ideas or to refresh your memory.
You’ll be feeling better in no time.
When you’re ready to elevate your game to the next level, check out “A Crash Course In Seduction” to learn everything there is to know about getting hot girls.