Challenge Girls With Push & Pull
I’m going to refer to the movie “Twilight” in this article, because it’s a great example of how to use Push & Pull to attract women.
The Player is one of the first guys who come to mind whenever I think of push game. He’s a great pusher. Constantly playing-with, and challenging the girl to prove herself to him. Girls WANT a pusher because he’s so hard to get. They chase.
In the beginning of the movie “Twilight”, the vampire dude, Edward, is ALL push. He makes it clear he wants nothing to do with her. He says things like “if you were smart, you’d stay away from me”, and “just forget about me, let it go”. Notice how the girl reacts. She can’t get him out of her mind. She pursues him.
There are other guys, like myself, who are very pull oriented. Constantly taking things sexual and pulling the girl in with reward of positive emotions. Girls WANT a puller because he’s so intense. They submit.
Again, in “Twilight”, notice how Edward is all pull once she knows he’s a vampire. He keeps saying things like “You’re my own personal brand of heroin” and “I’ve never wanted a human as badly as I want you”. It’s like a dagger of sweet poison to the girl’s heart, further increasing her desire for him.
What’s the most solid path here? To be a puller or a pusher?
The answer is: BOTH!
To send mixed messages, to Push & Pull. But a lot of guys think about this too literally, and they try to separate the two, or they rely too heavily on one or the other. Or they use them at the wrong times.
Let’s swing back to our character study here, and see why all the girls love the “Twilight” movie: because it’s a story of Push Pull seduction.
And here’s what I really want to emphasize about Push & Pull:
It’s not just a duality, it can actually be effectively used as a progression.
Push –> Pull/Push in Conflict –> Pull
Let’s start with push.
The thing about pushing is, a lot of guys think that the pushing itself is what makes girls attracted. It’s not. You need to display your value somehow. The pushing is a placebo effect.
It’s an amplifier of your displays of value, by making her want it more because it’s harder to get.
It could be your looks. It could be your sense of humor. It could be your style. Your presence. Your charisma. Whatever. We all have naturally valuable traits, it’s just a matter of figuring out what yours are, and then honing your most attractive qualities.
In other words, you should already be able to draw out indications and even statements of her interest in you from her to be able to generate basic interest.
Push & Pull works best as a way to “Launch” off of her interest, into generating attraction.
So once she’s throwing signals at you, pushing comes into play as a flirtation technique. Challenging. You can do it two ways:
Making yourself a challenge
“I’m bad for you. I’m such a nympho. I’d just get you addicted to sex.”
“I’m a heartbreaker. You’d end up falling in love with me. Let’s just be friends.”
Challenging the girl
“You’re too young for me. I’d have to hold your hand when we cross the street and stuff, and buy you popsicles all the time.”
“You’re so conservative. I like girls who are passionate and fun.”
Whenever you make challenges, be sure to make the challenging statement with an explanation. Don’t just say “you’re too shy” or “I’m too tall for you”. You need to explain why it is something that matters to you, even if your reason is silly or humorous.
Again, like all attraction techniques, an always solid route is a middle-path that combines the two. Use both. Disqualify yourself and her to bait her into disagreeing with you and proving herself, or explaining why the two of you WOULD be good together.
Another duality comes into focus here, where the tonality of how you challenge can be one of two methods:
Serious or Playful
This really depends on your personality and whatever vibe you have rocking with the girl.
Swinging back into the progression here, once your challenges have begun to take noticeable effect (she’s chasing you or qualifying herself), then you can swing into a conflict of Push & Pull.
This is where you begin expressing intent, with simultaneous messages of disqualification.
You begin pulling, but you push yourself or her away.
Express intent, then use it as an excuse to disqualify her, yourself, or the idea of the two of you being together.
An example would be:
“I’m beginning to like you too much. We can’t hang out anymore.”
So what we’re talking about here is a pull, capped off with a push.
This works well when the girl has already responded to your push phase, by being lured in. Don’t do it earlier, because it won’t work too well before you’ve gotten her invested in you.
The desired response is, of course, that she responds by further qualifying. Qualifying either herself, (“I’ll be a good girl, I promise!”), or qualifying you (“No… I like you! Stay!”).
Once she’s invested on this level and qualified, you can move into pure pull.
This is expressing solid intent. It’s your reward to her.
Usually at this phase, I don’t use words to pull. My pulling is primarily physical. Intense eye-contact (aka “Eye-sex”), close physical proximity. Sexual touching. Dominant physicality (pulling her against me, pressing myself against her).
Words in the “Pull” phase, I find, can get corny or sappy really easily, and guys who aren’t too experienced with it may actually fuck up by making low value statements such as “I Need you” and “I want you so badly, it makes me cry!”. So, I recommend you don’t even bother to pull verbally, trust in your physicality to communicate that for you.
You can maintain playful or serious Push & Pull flirting if you feel an absolute need to be verbal during the pull phase. Just make sure the physical aspect is there to trigger her body’s natural, instinctive, sexual response triggers.
So there you have it. Push & Pull in a nutshell.
Push (be a challenge, bait her to disagree)–> Pull & Push (communicate intent, disqualify, bait her to qualify herself or you)–> Pull (reward with sexual physicality).
That’s the basic formula.
If you guys want to hone your game and use Push & Pull to the maximum and attract women, then have a look at my Rising Star book.
In the book I’ll teach you my best secrets for how to make a woman fall in love with you in just than 14 days!