This section contains all of the sneaky little tips and tricks to use to pick-up and seduce women. You can attract women like a magnet if you learn and use these techniques! Check out the categories below:
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Conversation Tips - Learn the necessary conversation techniques and become great at talking to women. Learn what to say to women and how to say it in many critical situations.
Flirting Tips - It is vital for any player to know how to flirt with women if he wants to pick them up. Learn all of the best flirting tips to improve your skills at flirting with women.
Inner Game Tips - Learn tips that will teach you how to be confident around women and how to believe in yourself. An often overlooked, yet very important aspect of the game.
Outer Game Tips - These tips are for learning how to act around women, and can teach you what to do to make women want you. Learn how to behave around women.
Lifestyle Tips - The way you live your everyday life has a greater impact on relationships with women than you think! These tips will help you lead a lifestyle women are drawn to.
Dating Tips - Use this section to master the art of dealing with relationships, how to handle the first date, where to go on a date, and many other great strategies for dating women.
User Submitted Tips - These tips have been sent in by players wanting to add their knowledge to the Becomeaplayer.com resource. Don't forget to send in your own tips as well!
Special Feature: The Laws of Outer Game
When you open a group, you must gain acceptance of the group as a whole. Neglecting the members of the group that are not your target and focusing only on your TOI in an attempt to immediately isolate her from the group is the #1 mistake that men make when opening a group set. When you enter into a group, your initial focus should be to talk to everyone within the group at least once before using any techniques. The worst possible thing that can be done while opening a group is ignoring your TOI's friend, especially when dealing with a two set.
During a new set, your initial attitude towards your TOI should be very negative, yet playful. Above all else, beautiful women respond positively to verbal conflict, which is why teasing and negs should be integrated into your game regardless of your personal style or preference. Any man who can make a woman love him one minute and hate him the next, then keep her cycling through those emotions is surely going to succeed. The more you push a woman away, the faster she will come running back towards you. This is what flirting is all about.
Never apologize for anything that does not merit and genuine apology. This is particularly important when it comes to negs, because if you apologize to a woman after giving her a neg it will cancel out any progress that the neg would have made for you. Many men who are not fully experienced with negging tend to follow up their negs with a statements like: "I'm just teasing you", "I'm playing" or "Sorry, I was joking". These are all apologies, and doing this is a huge mistake, you'd be better off not negging at all if you are going to apologize for it. Of course, if you do something like accidentally hit someone in the face or spill their drink then you should apologize, but do not apologize for things that you do intentionally!
When dealing with a group set, always isolate your target before you attempt to seduce her and/or escalate your kino to a sexual level. Regardless of how attracted to you they may be, most women will be hesitant to allow you to advance the relationship to a more intimate level while still in the presence of their friends. By isolating your target before you escalate the situation, you will be removing the social pressures that would otherwise prohibit her from acting upon her impulses and showing her true feelings towards you.
Your social circle is like a living entity, and must be cared for accordingly and kept in "good health" if you are to achieve phenomenal success socially and with women. The people in your social circle need to be given attention and should be treated as if they are all important to you, because you never know when they can be of use to you. You should always be expanding you current circle by adding new people to it as you meet them through your daily travels, don't be afraid to get telephone numbers from other men and even women that you find unattractive, it's better to have many friends and no girlfriend than to have one girlfriend and zero friends. Having a large, healthy social circle will always guarantee that there will be an abundance of new women coming into your life that you can choose from.
If you aren't getting rejected by women, then you must not be approaching many women at all! Even the greatest pick up artists on the planet still need to deal with rejection, simply because there are too many factors that are not within our control that govern how each woman responds to our advances. This is a part of the game that will never change, and it is something that you will need to deal with and overcome. Your goal should not be to get RID of rejection, because that is impossible, your goal should be to get OVER rejection.
Walk the walk and talk the talk. Both of these aspects of your physical behavior should be slowed down considerably. When you are walking, you should be moving at a slow, steady pace that conveys the impression that you know exactly where you are going but are in no rush to get there. Slowing down your walk can substantially increase the amount of women that will approach you because women tend to never approach a fast-moving man that they will need to "chase". Also, slowing down the rate at which you speak and adding many short pauses to your dialog will make you appear to be much more confident and in demand. When you are speaking to a woman at a fast pace, you are displaying too much excitement and she will interpret that as an IOI and begin to believe that she is of higher value than you are.
When you are engaged in a conversation with a woman, it is always better to make statements that elicit a response from her rather than simply asking questions hoping to get a response. In this fashion, well selected statements can even prove to be better than asking open-ended questions, because asking any form of question tends to make it seem as if you are chasing the women and are trying to keep the conversation going. However, by making a simple statement and then allowing her to choose to respond on her own will reverse the interaction and have her chasing after you. For example, instead of asking "Do you go to the nearby university?" you can say "You must go to the college." This statement appears to be a question, but it technically isn't and is much less approval seeking than a direct question.
You should always be wearing or carrying at least one genuinely interesting item at all times, regardless of where you may be going. Even if you are just going to the supermarket to grab your food for the week, you should still be prepared to be around beautiful women. You do not need to be out sarging on a Saturday night to meet new women! By wearing something that is interesting you will be boosting your chances of being approached by women, and be giving them a reason to approach you because they will feel inclined to ask you about your item. This could be a unique shirt, belt buckle, hat or just about anything else. Doing this would be considered as a Passive Opener, and the key word is "passive", meaning that simply by wearing your item sets will simply open on their own without any work on your part.
While you are out sarging, it is important to avoid having "tunnel vision" and only focusing your energy on sets that contain potential targets. Talking to as many people as possible within the venue regardless of what they have to offer is an extremely effective strategy, and can lead to some very interesting and beneficial interactions. Doing this also puts you into a fun, talkative mood very quickly. For example, if you were to open a fake set (Houdini Set) that contains 3 women who are all low-quality, then eject from that set and head right into a set that has two 10's in it, you will most likely be more successful in the "real set" than you would have been if you had just rushed right into it before opening the Houdini Set.
By now you should already know about kino and how imperative it is if you want to achieve great success with beautiful women, however since it is such an important factor it must be addressed on this list. Kino is the art of touching someone else while flirting, and it creates comfort and attraction as well as conveys your sexual intent to your target. This is an important step in the game that must never be skipped during a set. During the entire course of your courtship and relationship with a woman kino should play a major role, and as you progress through your interaction with her the kino delivered (on both ends) should seem to be escalating naturally. For example, within the first few minutes of meeting a new woman you should initiate kino in a non-threatening manner by touching her forearm or shoulder, then progressively escalate to more intimate touching as she begins to become more comfortable with you. This escalation is necessary because in this manner foreplay and sex will gradually come into the picture and will be much less stressful because touching will be something that has been already going on.
Seduction is all about escalation. If you hit a woman with your most potent game right away during your opener, you will doom yourself to eventually peak and then fall off within 30-60 minutes. This happens because you did not leave yourself any "head room" for escalation, and thus will have nothing “new” to woo her with when it is time to escalate since you hit her with everything all at once. It is important to first start off with some light gaming, then escalate to moderate and then heavy as time goes on. This keeps everything fresh and interesting, which also allows the woman to feel as if there is something "more" that has yet to come. This effectively creates anticipation which increases your chance of a positive outcome.
There is no such thing as a "best" opener, there are only those that work and those that do not work. Your goal when using an opener is to get a conversation going and gain the acceptance of the group that you are opening to, and if your opener can achieve that, it is all that matters. While some openers can technically be classified as being better in certain situations because they can supply support to other techniques that you will bring into play later on, the fact remains that there is really no "best" opener for every possible scenario. With that in mind, it is recommended that you choose your openers based solely upon those that you are the most comfortable with using, because when running an opener your delivery is the key ingredient, and comfort will ensure a decent delivery every time.
Never be afraid to say no to a woman, because most of the time when your target asks you for something or wants you to do something it is nothing more than a test. You may or may not already be familiar with these tests, but in case you're not, in the seduction community they are commonly referred to as "Shit Tests". To pass her tests, you can simply decline her request, which will display to her that you are a high value man that she does not have the power to manipulate, thus increasing her attraction towards you. To even further the effect of this, you can act as if you are disappointed in her for thinking that you are a low value man that she can control and begin giving her less attention or even eject yourself from the set. This will force her to re-approach you, which is an Extreme Indicator of Interest (XIOI).
Never try to pre-plan the dialog before you approach a woman, it will not work no matter how good you get at memorizing your "lines". For example, you should not try to think of "something to say" before you approach, but instead you should only think about a general topic that you can begin a conversation on. You can use general guidelines like: "When I open her I'm going to throw in a neg and add some kino." That type of planning is normal. However, never try to plan the actual words that you are going to say, because game is best when spit off of the top of your head, not from your memory. This may seem like a contradiction when it comes to using openers, however here at the Paragon Project we believe that openers should only be used based upon the idea behind them, not the actual words given in the examples of them. In essence, each time you run the same opener, the dialog should be different yet the general idea and purpose of the opener stays the same. Never try to run a word-for-word routine.
Being fully aware of your current environment and the people that are in it is a very important skill for any PUA to have. Almost all social settings and venues are fully dynamic and will be ever-changing, so it is wise to make sure that you do a quick scan of your surroundings every few minutes to see what has changed, who has arrived and who may have left. Even while you are locked into a set you should still be regularly scanning the area, because at any time a high caliber woman that you've gamed in the past may arrive and you can turn her into a pawn by pulling her into your current set to introduce her to the other women, which will demonstrate your higher value.
During a social interaction the way in which you manipulate and use your own body language is just as important as being aware of your target's body language. For example, in order to create the illusion that you are non-threatening and are not directly trying to "pick up" a woman, you can purposely position your body in a way as to not throw up any "red flags" in her mind. To do this, instead of standing directly in front of her and facing towards her during your conversation, you can stand next to her with your body facing in the same or opposite direction as hers. When you are doing this properly, the only part of your body that should be facing her is your head, which you will have turned towards her.
When you test a woman (for example, a neg is a test), they will occasionally respond to your test with a test of her own, thus calling your bluff and challenging your alpha attitude to see if you will cave in. In this case the correct course of action is to continue the escalation trend by testing her yet again, whether it be with a neg, kino or just general teasing. This playful continuation of the interaction is a necessary aspect of flirting. When one sides fails to have a "comeback", they lose the game. When the man loses, the interaction usually ends or will continue for a while but eventually lead to nowhere. When the woman loses, she becomes more attracted to the man since he has passed her "screening process" of tests, the man is then in control. Always remember: Women are constantly testing you, always keep this in your mind and you'll be able to recognize and pass the tests before it's too late!
If you went to the batting cages but never even touched a baseball bat before, would you start out in the fastest cage? If you get extremely nervous when talking to women, then you shouldn't be trying to approach the type of hot women that you are attracted to, you need practice first. The best way to practice is with women that you don't really like that much, because you won't care about the outcome and have much less reason to be nervous. If you like slim girls, then go practice gaming some big chicks. If you like pretty faces, then go practice on some women that have nice bodies but only average faces. Doing this will not only help you get used to talking to women in general and get rid of your nervousness, it will also give you some great experience in the field and an opportunity to test out (risk free) all of the cool PP techniques that you are learning.
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