So, you want to talk to a girl?
No problem! I’m going to share the perfect formula that you should use when deciding how to talk to a girl that you like. It’s fairly simple once you get the hang of it, so bear with me.
Here’s how it works:
First a bit about psychology. Let’s say you spot a girl that you like and want to talk to her, but you’re not quite sure what to say. Well, there are a couple of things that you need to think about first.
Most importantly, you need to understand that more often than not the girl that you want to start a conversation with is probably thinking about what’s going on in her life.
Maybe she’s thinking about something that happened at her job, or at home, or any other random thing that has nothing to do with you approaching and talking to her.
Maybe she had a fight with her ex boyfriend, or maybe she had a wonderful day and she’s just out to relax. Now of course it depends on the context, but you have to realize that there’s a pretty good chance that this girl is not standing there just WAITING for you to start a conversation with her.
In a nutshell; always remember that whenever you go up to talk to a girl that you like, chances are she is not mentally ready for it at that moment.
So when you start talking to her it might be taken as a welcome surprise or an intrusion. This entirely depends upon the situation and the particular girl that you like.
Now am I trying to discourage you from starting a conversation with a girl? Of course not.
What I am saying is that before you start the conversation with her, it’s a good idea to realize that she can have a million things going on in her mind. You need to make sure that your opening statement contains some aspects of the following formula to ensure a smooth opening to your conversation when you’re considering how to talk to a girl that you like.
Doing this will help you avoid any pitfalls related to all of the contributing factors that I just mentioned above.
Here’s how to talk to a girl and open in a way that she will respond well to:
Your opener should be relevant to the situation both of you are currently in and it should be interesting.
Not necessarily interesting to you, interesting to her.
Not only that, but it should be interesting in a positive way, not a negative way. The last thing you EVER want to do is have a negative feeling or memory attached to her first impression of you.
Basically, don’t ever talk to a girl that you like and open by bitching about something relevant that you dislike.
Here’s some examples:
Interesting or not?
If you see something interesting about the girl you like and you want to comment on it, then that’s relevant and interesting to her (she gives a shit). Good job!
If you make a casual remark about the weather, then that’s technically relevant to the situation but it’s boring and lame (she doesn’t give a shit). Not so good.
Positive or negative?
If both of you are waiting in a line and you comment on the long lines or how dumb the wait is, that’s relevant but it’s also negative. Good intentions, bad execution.
Now if you go about commenting on the long lines saying that the good thing about them is you can meet cool people, that’s relevant and positive. You nailed it!
The next secret to starting a conversation with a girl smoothly is to make your opener something that is easy to agree with and it should always answer the silent question “why are you talking to me”.
This is a big one.
Even though the girl you approached might not yet be consciously asking herself “why are they talking to me”, that doesn’t mean that she does not want to know that your intentions are good.
You need to establish this as fast as possible when you first talk to a girl to ensure that your presence is welcome.
If you live in a city then you’re probably familiar with people who will walk up to you and ask you for money, donations, trying to sell you something, or they might even try and talk you into joining some business of theirs.
My point is, often times people (especially girls) get approached by people who WANT something from them.
Maybe it’s their money, or their attention, or their phone number.
All of these things are generally not welcome and are bothersome. You do not want to be placed into that category, but that’s the catch; by cold approaching her you are automatically already placed in that group whether you like it or not.
Your job is to provide a smooth opener that will get you out of that category.
So, your opening statement should tell the other person what you want from them.
Well, if you don’t get your foot in the door first, then you sure as hell aren’t going to get all the way up to her bedroom.
In an average scenario on the streets a girl will be guarded against talking to you until she feels safe and knows that you aren’t trying to “get” something from her, even if you are (like her number, a date, and so on).
Now let’s look at an even better example:
“You have a beautiful tan. Did you just come from the salon?”
Do you see how this statement has multiple positive elements?
It’s relevant to the situation, you asked about something that’s going on right now.
It’s interesting to her. Her tan is something she definitely gives a shit about.
It’s complimentary, you complimented her tan. Now she feels safe talking to you.
It let’s her know what you want. By talking about her looks she’ll know you like her.
Now what girl WOULDN’T answer a question like that? It’s an interesting compliment that is relevant to the situation and brings her guard down.
On top of that, it’s a compliment about something she puts effort and money into; something she wants people to notice.
That’s a winner, and a great way to get the conversation started with a girl.
She may or may not be receptive to talking to you right now, you need to remember that this stuff is entirely situational and always will be. For all you know her dog could’ve just died an hour ago.
If she is receptive to talking with you, then by following these guidelines you will improve your chances of getting a great conversation started a thousand fold.
You have a MUCH better chance of talking to a hot girl than if you just delivered a “line” like “Hey, you’re pretty. What’s your name?” or “Wow, you’re cute. Do you come here often?”
These openers are not winners.
Some dating books even have the nerve to say that all you have to do is say “hi”.
That’s only partially correct, it doesn’t really work that way. “Hi” is great when you combine it with a great opening statement that uses the formula that I just showed you.
“Hi” when used by itself just flat out sucks.
If you enjoyed this article then you’ll be shocked by what I’ve put into my Simple Seducer book.
Don’t just be good with women, be great! Go read it right now.
By Sebastian Steele
Author : Simple Seducer