Playing Hard To Get
Most guys seem focused only on the most direct path to the end result. See the girl, seduce the girl, fuck the girl. This is cool and all, but playing hard to get can prove to be much more beneficial in many situations.
What’s the rush? Are you guys so desperate for pussy that you need to have it right there, and then? Or is this another matter all together; maybe you believe that by not immediately fucking the girl, an imaginary “window” of opportunity may close on you?
I can only speak from my experience, but in my interactions, the longer you escalate a girl, without closing her, the more head over heels she gets for you and the more enjoyable it is for the both of you.
The trick is all about pumping up her buying temperature for you, while simultaneously pushing your value to a level higher than her own – just barely out of reach – to the point where she will begin to feel a deep desire for a chance to be intimate with you.
You’ll want to bait her along with touching; a pat on the booty here, a pelvis-to-pelvis hug there, a whisper in her ear with your cheek caressing against hers. These little physical attraction spikes will keep her wanting to jump into bed with you, but you don’t give it to her.
You make her chase you, and you reward her whenever she does.
But here’s the kicker; try not to kiss her.
Whereas most guys go for make-outs right away, you put your lips on a level much higher than the rest. You become the guy that she “can’t get”, the one that’s always on her mind.
With one girl, I kept pumping her attraction and withdrawing until she couldn’t take it anymore, and she begged me to fuck her. I put my hand on the back of her head and pulled her face towards mine, and slightly parted my lips as if to make out with her, and just barely touched the tips of my lips to hers. She rushed in to make out, but I kept my lips parted and didn’t “close” the kiss. She tried a few more times then started to whine.
I gave her a kiss on the forehead and winked.
What’s the point in all this “playing hard to get”? Well, there’s actually a lot of things that can come out of it.
One of the most controversial benefits of getting a girl to chase you is that you push her into a state of need. When it gets to that point, you can demand things of the girl and she will comply. This can range from small stuff like telling her to give you a ride somewhere, to larger things like having her buy you things like clothes, food and expensive gifts.
The first time I experienced this is when I had a girlfriend and was also “dating” another girl. I felt very attached and committed to my girlfriend, but I was simultaneously very attracted to the other girl.
What ended up happening is whenever I spent time with the other girl, sexual tension would constantly be building between the two of us, but I would always hold myself back because I wanted to be loyal to my girlfriend. This created the effect that I described above, where I was constantly escalating the other girl with physical attraction spikes, then withdrawing when she tried to close the gap.
What ended up happening?
She bought me a $400 guitar. She couldn’t seem to get the reciprocated intimacy from me, so something in her mind (or maybe the advice of her friends, who knows) convinced her that giving me an expensive gift would express her affection for me and win me over.
Now, I of course don’t recommend you use this to make girls buy you things, but that does happen.
One of my close friends always has girls buy him meals and clothes. He doesn’t do it intentionally, he just naturally makes girls want to try to “win” his affection just like I do, (although I play hard to get intentionally, whereas his “escalate then pull away” behavior is unintentional, due to his disdain for commitment/attachment).
Going back to playing hard to get, the other benefit of it is that when you DO decide to finally reward the girl with a make out (whether it is because you feel she has lavished you with enough attention and gifts, or if it is because you just can’t hold back your desire anymore), the fireworks will be spectacular.
For the both of you.
Many of you may be thinking “but if I draw all this shit out, that means during this whole time I won’t be getting laid when I could otherwise be doing so”.
That’s half right and half wrong. You see, that’s where seeing MULTIPLE girls comes into play.
Let’s say your hard to get process takes, on average, about 5 “dates” or “meetings” with the girl, until you’ve pushed her to the breaking point. If you met her every day, that would be one work week. In comparison to the average guy, that’s actually par-for-the-course, or even in some cases, a fast seduction.
The difference is, regular guys are the ones that push themselves into the wrong role. They buy the girl things to try to win her affection. In our case, we’re pumping the girl’s buying temperature for us so high that she will be the one trying to win our affection.
You make her chase you, you don’t chase after her.
Back to the timeline. If it takes you 5 days before you decide to reward a girl with make out/sex, that means you’re not getting laid for 5 days (whereas the closing mentality guy could have been getting laid all those 5 days).
However, if you’re running this process on 5 other girls, and you’re going to be at different stages in the process with each of them. This means you could already be rewarding girl A with your cock, while girl C is still whining to kiss you and you’re pulling away with an attraction-spiking booty pat.
This strategy will actually create a much more exciting and fulfilling sex life for you.
Closing mentality guys are getting sex from quick escalation. If you work on your hard to get game, you’ll be getting sex that’s been building from sexual tension to the bursting point.
I shouldn’t need to tell you how much more arousing the sex will be for both you, and the girl.
What are some other benefits of escalation, withdrawal and playing hard to get?
Well, here are a few that I’ve personally experienced:
– Girls begging to suck your cock while you’re driving.
– Girls shoving their hand down your pants to jerk you off, in public.
– Girls videotaping themselves doing whatever you tell them to do and sending it to you.
– Girls teaming up with other girls to both simultaneously try to seduce you, etc.
A few possible negatives of this that I’ve experienced as well:
– Girls getting clingy; calling you all hours of the night, looking for you, etc.
– Girls falling in love with you and crying whenever you leave at night.
– Girls grabbing on to you and refusing to let go (which can get annoying).
Also a huge negative that I learned from: don’t do this to multiple girls in the same social circle.
While the girls themselves may be okay with it (as long as they’re getting somewhere with you, they’re happy, even while there may be feelings of jealousy and competition, they still feel like “they” are the one that you are most into), there was one problem I really encountered:
– The “mother hen” of the group will bitch you out for being a “player” and what not. Not a pleasant experience at all.
Of course, I’ve learned from all of this and my perspective has matured, so now I play hard to get for mutual enjoyment purposes alone (I don’t make girls buy me shit, or make girls chase me just to feed my ego).
Now I do it because it makes the romance, and the sex, 100 times more awesome when the sexual tension bursts.
It’s also fun when girls can’t keep their hands off you too, even once you’ve “let her reach the finish line”, she’ll still retain her needy demeanor towards you and be at your beck and call.
What happens if you take things too far and the girl loses interest? Is this a surefire method to lose a girl? As long as you continue to escalate, the chances are good that the girl is going to want to stick around.
I don’t really consider this “push and pull”. I’d call this all pull, but delaying the close.
I’m sure most, if not all of you have experienced the flip side of this. You know her, that girl who shoots you bedroom eyes, winks at you, rubs her hand on your chest and maybe even pats your crotch, or invites you to the club and takes you by the hand to the dance floor, where she rubs her ass against your groin and smiles back at you.
Then when you go for the make out she puts her fingers to your lips between yours and hers, and gives you playful smile.
The female cock-teaser.
You’re not going to walk away from that. You’re going to want to nail her hard and you’re going to look forward to each time she wants to hang out with you, because she lets you take things a little further each time.
What I’m talking about in this article is just to flip the script.
Be the male pussy-teaser.
Continue to escalate her, but you be the one to pull the brakes on things when she clearly wants to move forward. Do it again the next time you see her. Drive her nuts.
I suppose this is at a level of game beyond the average closer, but I wouldn’t go so far as to call it advanced. Maybe, “intermediate” level game.
It’s really just about turning yourself into the prize.
Girls normally have their sexuality as their lure. This is about stripping that away from them, and putting YOUR sexuality as the higher value. The way I view male-female social dynamics is that there is always someone chasing while the other is being chased.
You can choose to be one or the other.
It’s not “feminine” to be the one being chased. It just means the girl wants you badly, which is actually the most masculine thing I can think of.
Does this take some experience and practice to get competent at? Absolutely. Is it worth it? I definitely think it is.
I believe a good way to work on this – to get yourself acclimated to the “play hard to get” skill set – is to single out one girl as your soon-to-be-chasing-you girl and just pump her buying temperature the way you would normally, but when you get to the make out point, slowly pull back right when her lips are almost touching hers.
Watch her lean and follow. Pat her booty and give her a playful wink. Do it again. Maybe this time you can give in and just have the make out.
It’s hard to deny your natural urges.
But as you get more accustomed to it, you’ll get more self-control and enjoyment out of making her whine and beg for it. Like I said earlier, if you game multiple girls, you can go get your dick wet with girl A, who you’ve already turned into a supplicant for you, OFF of the sexual frustration that you gave yourself by playing hard to get with girl B, if that makes sense to you guys.
It may seem counter-intuitive, but if you REALLY want girls to chase you, you have to be willing to put your sexuality on a level that’s harder to attain than the average guy.
How far you take that is really up to you.
If you want to delay things just a few minutes, that’s cool. If you’ve got the willpower to delay things for several meetings, wow. That’s really something to be proud of. I know how powerful the libido is, especially with the soft feel of a warm-skinned, doe-eyed girl in your arms.
But losing the girl isn’t really a concern once you get some field experience with this. As long as you are constantly escalating (as opposed to the friend zone guy who never escalates, you ARE escalating, and just intentionally cutting things off when you know she wants to go further).
Is this losing the window of opportunity?
Quite the opposite. The window’s going to be open even more the next time you hang out with her.
All that anticipation.
Think of when you hear the announcement of the next installment of the latest Grand Theft Auto or the next big Blockbuster Movie starring your favorite actor, or whatever it is that you’re hyped about. You’re going to get excited. You want it. Then the teaser clips start coming out, and you want it more. Then full trailers come out, and you want it NOW!!!
The same psychology applies. You are her newest hot-topic. Market yourself with delayed gratification. Cause a buyer’s-market-frenzy.
The only concern is how far you are willing to take it.
We want what we can’t have, that’s a powerful psychological concept. If you combine that with the fact that you’re not only making yourself hard-to-get, but you’re ALSO spiking her desire for you and escalating it consistently?
Man, she’s hooked.
She just WANTS it, but you’re not giving it to her, yet.
Her mind is going to create all these fantasy scenarios of you and her, which will add to your allure, as she’s further building you up in her mind.
Oh, self-control. What a tortuous thing! This definitely isn’t for everybody. But there are powerful insights on attraction that can be found if you think about the process.
To lay out my perspective on this, I am naturally a fast-closer. When I first hit my stride with girls, I went through different girls several nights a week. On some occasions it was a new girl day after day. It was ego-fueled, I was after straight sex, and I would escalate the interaction at a ridiculous pace, telling the girl how I was going to fuck her within the first few minutes of talking to her.
That definitely did work.
Not all the time, some girls would get really uncomfortable and/or blow me out, but many girls complied to it, as is the truism that’s already been said on here, “girls just want to be taken”.
I’m saying this to emphasize that going for the close does work, and I do appreciate the benefits of fast-game. I’m also saying this to address the assumption that “playing hard to get” is done by guys to feed their ego when they’re new to the game and have just discovered their own attractive abilities.
That definitely can be true, but not true in this case.
I have 8 solid years of consciously doing it to girls, and ironing out the wrinkles along the way (I definitely sucked at it for a long while before the pieces began to fall in place).
You can’t always escalate without closing. This isn’t about being IMPOSSIBLE to get, this is about being HARD to get.
In my case, I just use it to build sexual tension to a bursting point, and to make the girls a bit subjective to me. I don’t abuse it, I use it to enhance my interactions with girls.
When I walk out of my house and a girl is there standing outside her car, waiting to pick me up, and she sees me and runs up to me with a smile, and starts making out with me in an almost ravishing fashion, I’ll admit it does give me somewhat of an ego boost. But more so, it just makes life so much more enjoyable when girls are all over you (as opposed to you being all over girls).
It’s not about being cruel or missing opportunities. It’s about making the girl genuinely WANT you, and when you do decide to let her have you, it’s a win for her (and you).
Playing hard to get is about making the girl take that role.
You are not “losing opportunities” or losing your game by making her chase you. You are just switching the roles.
Is it a game? Yes. I love it. Is it necessary? No way.
But then again, the only real thing that’s necessary is to just “do what works”.
This isn’t about “what works”, because anything can work, really.
This is about what can be done with game and how far you can take it. When it comes to playing hard to get, the limits are theoretically endless.
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