Make her feel comfortable
Have you ever heard people talking about comfort game? If you truly haven’t, it’s one of the most under appreciated and misunderstood concepts in seduction. The main idea behind this concept is to bring down a girl’s defenses and make her feel comfortable around you so that you can spit game to her more naturally.
I don’t even think the guys that coined the term “comfort game” really understand it correctly.
You see, when most seduction gurus and other community guys talk about making a girl feel comfortable, they always tend to mention things related to building rapport.
Most specifically, they teach you about; asking questions, getting to know each other, making her qualify herself to you and so on.
Guess what? They’re all wrong.
Making a girl feel comfortable is NOT about building rapport, at least not at the highest level of understanding. This is something that you guys are going to notice more and more as you learn and evolve your game.
This is the biggest question about comfort game: how do you know when you’re in it?
Most experts out there will flood you with mechanical strategies telling you to do stuff like “count IOI’s” or give her “pre-screening questions” and “compliance tests”, blah blah blah.
How the hell is anyone supposed to understand and remember all of that technical garbage? Does anyone even want to? Most importantly, does it even work?
The answer to all of the above is NO.
Furthermore, is a basic social interaction between a man and a woman really supposed to be as complicated and precise as Trigonometry?
I don’t think so.
From my experience, gaming a girl to make her feel comfortable with you is actually quite simple, and the more you understand how simple it is the better your results with girls will be.
Now let me destroy the first community belief about comfort game needing prerequisite techniques to be used.
Comfort game is simply this: whenever you are interacting directly with a girl, you are making her feel comfortable automatically the longer your POSITIVE presence is there.
Basically, as long as you’re still “welcome” to interact with her, she will be getting more comfortable as time passes – without any extra effort on your part!
Wow, can you believe this? Is it really THAT simple?
So whenever I’m walking side-by-side with a girl and talking, or when she’s riding shotgun while I’m driving, or even when I’m just talking to her on the phone, I’m already doing everything required to make her feel comfortable?
You see, by realizing this simple truth you can avoid the mistake that TONS of guys make, many of whom take months or even years to realize what they’re doing wrong.
It’s called over-gaming.
I like to refer to it as backwards gaming, because it looks just like backpedaling to me.
Instead of making forward progress to make her more comfortable around you, you’re actually going to end up slamming her with so many unnatural gaming techniques that you’ll end up creating an awkward situation and making her feel the opposite.
This is how I see the game:
Attraction > Comfort > Escalation > Sex.
The problem is, when most guys are interacting with a girl they do and say things to try to build attraction.
They try to get her to chase them, or they hit on her, stuff like that.
Guess what? If she’s hanging out with you or interacting with you directly, you don’t NEED to worry about attraction anymore because you’re already in comfort!
She may already be attracted or she may still be making up her mind, but either way the fact that she’s directly interacting with you means that she’s there to experience you and your job now is to make her feel comfortable, not making her feel attracted.
Do you see where I’m going with this? She’s already attracted to you on some level otherwise you wouldn’t have even gotten this far.
Don’t screw it up by gaming backwards!
Making her attracted GOT her there with you, making her comfortable is what will KEEP her there.
Now this brings me to the next point; what is building comfort all about? How do you really make her feel comfortable and relaxed enough to the point where you can begin escalating the interaction?
I could tell you all the complicated techniques and tactics that all the other community guys teach and learn about, but then where would that get you? Farther from the truth, and the truth is as simple as this statement:
Comfort game is about showing her what you would be like as a boyfriend.
That’s IT! That’s all there is to it.
If you want to make a girl feel comfortable around you, all you have to do is treat her like she’s already your girlfriend. You can even trick yourself and pretend like she already is your girlfriend if that will help YOU feel more comfortable.
This is the whole psychology of why she’s interacting with you: she’s trying to decide if you would be a good companion (whether she consciously realizes this or not).
There may be a few tactical points to avoid, such as groping her or running overly “familiar” touching on her, but that’s a problem easily solved by remembering the progression:
Attraction > Comfort > Escalation > Sex.
Anything that you would consider to be “escalation”, such as groping her or making out with her, you shouldn’t be doing while you are still trying to make her feel comfortable.
Now that leaves a whole slew of tools in your kit, simply by switching to this new mindset.
You see, guys that are backwards gaming and still try to attract girls while they’re directly interacting with them, these guys are actually hurting themselves on several key points:
1) The guy is automatically placing himself into a mindset of inferiority. To try to attract a girl means that you are augmenting your behavior for her approval.
2) The guy is not demonstrating what he would be like as a boyfriend. Instead he’s putting up an act, which usually comprises of throwing different “techniques” at the girl here and there.
What happens here is there is no consistent emotional momentum for the girl to grab onto and vibe with. Instead, the momentum is choppy and erratic, like airplane turbulence.
She is being thrown a mixture of what the guy is actually like, peppered in with bits and pieces of behavior that the guy thinks the girl will respond to.
Since there’s no consistent emotional momentum, comfort game ends up being more like awkward game, leaving both the girl AND the guy feeling confused and hesitant – disconnected – and not knowing how the other person is feeling.
3) The guy is consciously thinking so much about his game that he isn’t at all in his most comfortable state, but the girl doesn’t know that.
All she can do is respond to what you give her, and if you’re giving her uncomfortable vibes she’s going to think that this is how you always are.
So to sum it all up: Don’t try to make her chase you. Don’t try to attract her. Don’t try to be witty.
Don’t “try” anything.
Just treat her as if she were your girlfriend and you are her boyfriend.
Furthermore, don’t even try to seek comfort.
Instead, realize this: the more comfortable you are with yourself, the more comfortable she will feel being around you, and thus, the more attracted she will be to you.
Exude comfort, don’t seek it.
Yes, it really is that simple, but guess what?
So is learning how you can make ANY girl fall in love with you!
Check this out to learn how to do it: “Rising Star Seduction Program”
Read that book, and I guarantee you’ll have the girl you want in just two weeks.