[ The Players Letters ] I Lost My Game!

Letters ~ Got Questions?

You've got questions, The Player's got answers. Read through some of the personal advice that I have given to men on how to attract women and develop strong social relationships. It may just help you as well.

Dear Player,

I have been single for almost two months now, and it is driving me nuts. I have completely lost my game. Every time I see an attractive girl I hesitate to decide if the girl is worth my time, and before I know it, it's too late! Do you have any advice to counter this problem? Would I look like a weirdo if I stopped a random girl in a group of her friends to get her number, I have never even dared to pull that one off. What are the best rapport building questions to use on a hottie that is walking by? What kinds of clothes does The Player wear?

- Joey

Hey Joey,

I'm sorry to hear that you've been having a string of bad luck with women lately, so let's get straight to it and try to work on that problem shall we?

First thing's first... you've got to start telling yourself that EVERY attractive girl is worth your time, until at least you get to know them well enough to prove otherwise. This process should not take long if you talk to them, and half the time they may not express an interest in you when you approach, so that should give you an immediate answer. Don't worry about the rejection either, if you are really dedicated to finding a new girl (or two) then you've just got to get used to being turned down... you wouldn't even believe me if I told you how many times I get shot down per month. It's all a matter of training yourself to not care through experience and practice.

Secondly, you must act immediately! This is very important, because as you already know... if you let 30 seconds go by while you try to decide if you should talk to her or not 9 out of 10 times your window of opportunity will be closed before you even make a decision. Obviously not good.

Next, you will never look like a "weirdo" by approaching a random girl or group of girls. The worst thing that they could possibly think of you is being a "strange guy with a ton of confidence". It takes some serious balls to stroll up to a few hotties when your by yourself, and women know that. Just the fact that you would do something like that will make most women become interested in you, if not at least curious to know more. However, I recommend that you talk to a considerable amount of random girls that are alone before attempting to approach them in groups, because when approaching a group you run the risk of making one of them jealous if you focus your attention on another... and one jealous girl in a group is guaranteed to make sure you leave with none of them. Eventually you will feel comfortable enough using your skills that you will be able to "juggle" multiple girls in a group and give them all an equal amount of attention until the point comes where you choose one, and when your at this level you will know when you are ready. Until then stick with "practicing" on girls that are by themselves, and think of it that way... as practice.

In terms of what questions to ask... there really is not any right answer. I could make up a few simple questions that you could use, but I would rather not... as I'd be steering you in the wrong direction. The best questions to ask a girl that you have never met before are ALWAYS based on things that you observe based on her appearance or behavior. For example, let's say I was to tell you to ask her the question "What do ya like to do for fun? Any clubs you could recommend?" which is a good question because most women like to appear that they are "in-the-know" and "down with the cool crowd" and would be more than happy to show off their knowledge about the local night life... and you asked her and got a reasonable answer, where would that conversation lead? Most likely nowhere because there are is a very limited amount of things that you can talk about related to that topic AND (this is the most important part) you forgot that you have never met this girl before, and have no idea of knowing how interested she could possibly be in going out to clubs... not good. Now, on the other hand let's say that you used my method for asking question based on observations and noticed that her shirt, bag or car had a college name on it and decided to ask her a question about her school... how do you think that conversation would go? Well... it would probably end with her picking her clothes up off of your bedroom floor the next morning... all because you chose to LEARN something about her before talking to her, then asking questions based on what you knew she would be responsive to.

Clothes? That's another good question...

My opinion on what type of clothing women are most attracted to has drastically changed over the past few years, I used to always wear the nicest stuff I could afford ; designer button-down shirts, expensive jeans or khakis and sneakers. My view on shoes has not changed, as I still wear white sneakers 99% of the time (always making sure they are either brand new or at least look that way) but I've learned one very important thing that has totally changed my wardrobe : Women don't care what you wear, as long as it looks "clean". Nowadays I wear cheap (but still name brand) jeans and khakis and T-Shirts... YES I only wear T-Shirts! Why? Three simple reasons... I like them, they are comfortable and I have not notice ANY change whatsoever in my encounters with women since I changed up my style. So my advice to you is wear whatever you feel the most comfortable in, because whatever you choose will work just as well as anything else. However, this brings us back to the "clean" factor that I mentioned earlier... I ALWAYS iron my shirt and pants before going out, and I never wear clothes that are dirty, if your clothes look like you take pride in your appearance... the type of clothes that they are don't matter.

I guess that should just about do it, try going out and using what we just went over and make sure to let me know what goes down.

Your Friend,

The Player

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