[ The Players Letters ] Damaged Goods

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Hi,

To begin with. I don't want to "play" this woman but definitely want "it" to happen when the timing is right.

She is at the beginning stages of a divorce. She's talked about it openly to me and it's headed down that path of 'going to get worse before it get's better' divorces. My reservations are the things I want to protect in my life. (e.g. don't need an angry soon to be ex showing up on my door step)

She's shown interest in me and without being too aggressive I've done the same. Honestly this woman is a solid 8 in my book but I've done my best to reserve any hint of those thoughts to her. I've had plenty of opportunities to speak with her and I've definitely grown to like who she is.

My question/problem is I'm not sure if I should move forward with her, wait out at least to the point where she's not living with her soon to be ex (and paper work in the mix) or just move on to the next fish.

Any suggestions?

- Hal

What's up Hal,

Your currently in what I like to call a "backpedal situation", because anything that you choose besides for never talking to that woman again (or at least for a good year or two) will have the following affect on many other aspects of your life ; you will either move backward or not move at all... meaning not many areas of your life will have room to improve because of the added stress and baggage that this woman would be bringing into your life to disrupt it.

Now don't get me wrong, I believe in second chances and that everyone is entitled to them... but you've got to take a few moments to think about if you really want to be the guy that has to hold her hand through the transition, I know I don't wanna be. Women in her situation tend to cause more problems than they (or you) can handle... and that's not even mentioning the fact that until she has been divorced for 2-3 years her chance of going back to him or cheating with him on whoever else she is with is almost astronomical.

All of this is just my opinion, and you don't have to listen to me. After all, I'm a player and the last thing I would ever choose is a woman that is "damaged goods" or someone that already has children... I run as soon as I hear anything remotely close. You could perhaps be the type of guy that can handle all of the unnecessary drama and stuff, I know they are out there... maybe you are one of them. However if you are anything like me, have any doubts in terms of feelings for her or think that there is a possibility that you can attract a woman equal in terms of looks and personality... without all the problems, then my advice to you is turn around and never look back, because dating (or worse... living with) that girl is going to be hell for anyone she is involved with over the next few years.

Whatever you decide, just take some time alone without any outside influences in order to weigh all of the pros and cons before you choose what to do... otherwise you may end up regretting your decision.

Hope this helps!

Your friend,

The Player

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