Keep a girl interested in you
Getting a hot girl to like you in the first place can be a daunting task to accomplish. Even harder is knowing how to keep a girl interested in you afterward, whether it be for a short period of time or the long haul.
Doing this is much more of a practice in moderation than anything else, while also avoiding being fake during the initial meeting.
Those are the two key elements, but not all.
Have you ever been in a situation where everything goes GREAT with a girl at first, but then after the second date all of her interest in you seems to have vanished?
To make matters worse, she then proceeds to ignore your phone calls and text messages, or responds saying that she is too busy to hang out and just blows you off!
It’s bullshit, isn’t it?
You followed the game and did everything right when you first met her.
She was really digging you, and you may have even gotten physical with her.
So why – for no apparent reason – has her attitude toward you done a full 180?
I’ve coached hundreds of men with this exact problem, and most of the time the problem lies in a lack of what I call “escalation room”.
When you can’t seem to keep a girl interested in you although at one time she definitely was, it’s usually because you’ve failed to remain congruent with the initial image of yourself that you displayed to her, and also did not have the headroom to escalate that image and enforce it to prove that you ARE the type of guy that the girl believes you to be.
To put it more simply; you’re being a “let down” on the second date because you didn’t seem to be as fun or cool as you were on the first date.
The truth is, you need to be even MORE cool than you were at first.
That is where the “escalation” part comes in.
If you can’t do that, then girls will always lose interest in you very quickly, regardless of how physically attracted to you that they may be.
This is because when you first meet a girl and make an impression on her, you are then fully bound to LIVE UP TO that impression.
That’s just the way it is, whether you like it or not.
If during your first meeting you make her believe that you are the coolest guy she has ever met, then you need to be prepared to really blow her away during the second date.
If you fail to live up to the standards that you set yourself when you met her, it is game over.
That’s why you need to leave yourself some headroom – just a little wiggle space for that image of you to grow rather than plateau out prematurely.
If you don’t leave any tricks up your sleeve and go full blast from the jump, then where do you go from there?
How do you one-up yourself at that point?
You’re only fighting against yourself here, no need to make it overly difficult.
So many men that I talk to and train on a daily basis place all of their focus and energy on meeting new girls and that “first encounter”.
So much so that they use up all of the best and most impressive things about themselves right away in an attempt to close the deal and get her number or get laid.
What happens after that is the girl will comes to meet with them a second time, and the man has nothing new to impress her with and is either stuck talking about the same stuff she already knows or doing the same things he did during the first encounter.
No surprises, just more of the same.
This leave ZERO room for escalation and completely disrupts the congruency of the image that the man initially displayed.
If a girl expects you to be this mysterious, cool guy that is always going to surprise her and continually impress her with how interesting you are, then you’ve better be prepared to actually BE that guy and back it up.
If you can’t, then you shouldn’t have given her that impression in the first place.
You set a standard that you can’t live up to.
It’s better to appear to be not perfect on a first than it is to seem fake on a second date.
The ironic part about all of this is, in most cases it is the man trying too hard to be perfect when he doesn’t even need to – and it ends up ruining everything.
Chances are the girl would have been into you just as much if you would simply act normal and set REAL expectations for her rather than attempting to appear to be someone that you’re not.
That way, you leave yourself a whole lot of “head room” to escalate her view of you as you move upward and become even more intriguing.
When her expectations are of you are sky high, all that you are going to do is let her down.
Nobody is perfect, and women accept that.
If you want to experience long term success with girls, you need to understand that true game is not the act of pretending to be someone that you’re not, but rather the act of being REAL at first, then blowing her away continually as time goes on.
That is how you keep a girl interested in you and make her eventually fall in love with you.
Lying and giving false impressions will get you nowhere.
This isn’t the same old “just be yourself” advice. Trust me, just being who you are right now is NOT good enough and never will be. Regardless of your level of game or stature as an overall person, there’s always going to be room for improvement.
Even I believe that I still have a LONG way to go.
From that mind state you can easily keep a girl interested in you without much effort, because if you’re dedicated to improving yourself each day you’ll always be continually impressing her and escalating her view of you.
You’ll actually BE getting better.
You’re “ceiling” will be increasing at a steady pace, giving you new head room to work with all of the time.
When you are 100% sure that tomorrow you’ll be a better person than you are today, trying to keep a girl interested in you frankly just won’t be a problem that you need to deal with.
I think we’re done here.
Or are we?
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The Player’s Black Book