Learn tips that will teach you how to be confident around women and how to believe in yourself. An often overlooked, yet very important aspect of the game is what goes on inside of your own head.
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Conversation Tips - Learn the necessary conversation techniques and become great at talking to women. Learn what to say to women and how to say it in many critical situations.
Flirting Tips - It is vital for any player to know how to flirt with women if he wants to pick them up. Learn all of the best flirting tips to improve your skills at flirting with women.
Inner Game Tips - Learn tips that will teach you how to be confident around women and how to believe in yourself. An often overlooked, yet very important aspect of the game.
Outer Game Tips - These tips are for learning how to act around women, and can teach you what to do to make women want you. Learn how to behave around women.
Lifestyle Tips - The way you live your everyday life has a greater impact on relationships with women than you think! These tips will help you lead a lifestyle women are drawn to.
Dating Tips - Use this section to master the art of dealing with relationships, how to handle the first date, where to go on a date, and many other great strategies for dating women.
User Submitted Tips - These tips have been sent in by players wanting to add their knowledge to the Becomeaplayer.com resource. Don't forget to send in your own tips as well!
The Inner Game Tips...
I've been gaming for a while now, Had good times as well as bad, But lately My game has been going pretty well, I just wanted to share a bit of my story. i was always doubtful of the advice on the site, But I started to put a lot of it into practice, Especially self worth and confidence, Its about as true as it comes when its said looks aren't everything, I'm not a bad looking guy nor am i great looking. But i decided to up my game, I used self worth, took care of my appearance, and regardless of how i really feel, i always make sure i appear out going and confident, and following a lot of the things on this site, I've become a better gamer for it. The biggest thing i found, theres a lot of great openers on here and suggestions but i cant stress how hugely important i found it to tailor each opener and such depending on the girl your with, There is no cut & paste technique that's a one size fits all, i don't think that's something that can be taught, But with some gentle advice and a steep learning curve i managed to learn the lesson. So I just wanted to say thanks for the great site and all those in doubt, seriously take care of your appearance, and even if you cant do full on confidence at least make yourself competent! Good luck! - Dex Player
A great confidence booster for any AFC or beginning PUA is to arm yourself with knowledge and info from this site and others like it. You have to just KEEP READING! You may not remember everything or be able to put it in action right away but I guarantee that you will remember SOMETHING and it will be to your advantage when you interact with women. One thing I have learned from my experience is to not over use certain strategies. For example I used to love using negs to build attraction and I fell into a state of "more is better", which is not good. Women want a dynamic man who is unpredictable and fun, so don't get caught in a rut and keep it fresh! - Dank
Pretend its a card game: You might have the best hand, but if you don't bet into it, you wont get the sweetest pot. Likewise, if you have a bad hand and fold you might not know if you would of hit it. You cant win every hand, but winning the "Game" is not about having the best hand once, its about PLAYING the right combination of confidence, skill and bluffing. - Mr. West
From skinny loser,lanky weirdo, to hot smart and funny guy. This site has transformed me. Never give up... ever don't ever give up. Things will be difficult but believe me you will get all the woman you want. If you read these articles practice them and never give up. It took me 3 years to get into my level and I'm still learning. JUST DON'T GIVE UP. People sometimes give up after a month. That's separates you and me from the rest of heard. It will be hard it may take months or even years but once you get it. Its just like riding a bicycle. "Once you learn it there is no turning back". Good luck! - Kim Ian
Ok, no wing tonight? No big deal. Obviously we all need a Wing every now and then, especially when we are first starting out. Now what happens when you lose a wing to a GF or he simply can't come out? You usually find yourself making excuses to stay in. Friday night and nothing to do? Since I have no wing that means it's a lost cause right? Wrong. Every time you stay in you regress. Every time you don't go out you lose opportunity. Opportunity is your greatest weapon. So in order to keep your mind at ease about your lack of support... use something that reminds you of your wing. I remember my wing left a coat of his at my apartment that was pretty badass. So I kept it and whenever I was on my own Sarging, I would wear it and feel like I had someone in my corner. Try it out guys, might sound weird but it helped me in those dark times. - Wood
If you're at this stage do NOT be ashamed. Just acknowledging you status is already a step closer to being drenched in vaginal fluid. You need to see where you at and tell yourself the truth. Don't brag to friends, don't embellish stores, and as for the point of this post... Do NOT rely on your wingman as a crutch. This is very hard to overcome when you first start, especially if his level of game is higher than yours. It becomes very easy to hide behind him so he gets rejected and you remain unscathed. This is also the worst thing you can do because it prevents you from learning. Be assertive, act first. Make a game of it. See how many times you can open sets first in that night over your wing. Make it a competition. He doesn't even need to know you're doing this. Overtime this will produce positive results. Only then, does your wing actually become your wing. - Wood
The Rejection Grid-Iron
Ok, that thing you ran through during football practice in High School? I think it was called the Grid Iron. Anyway, picture that. Its supposed to stop you and hinder your progress but in the long run it just makes you barge through your future obstacles. So go on a dating site. Plentyoffish, Craigs, Match, Facebook, whatever and just try out new openers. Fail. Try out funny openers. Fail. Try out creepy stuff that will make you laugh. Fail. Bottom line, get rejected as much as possible. Then go out. I find that when I do this at work, I get so annoyed by how stupid so many girls are and how much of a joke it is that when I go out I look at women and then truly cut all the bull shit out. I see them as profiles and its as if I'm just scrolling through them to see which one I want. Cute way there to tackle AA from another approach. - Wood
You should also start to think of IOI's as nothing more than tools that you use to judge your progress in-set, not something to judge yourself based on. If you aren't getting them while you are just walking down the street, it doesn't mean you've lost your game or that you are ugly... it just means that you didn't happen to get any IOI's. Just like an AFC can have a lucky streak and get a bunch of IOI's off pure luck... the opposite can happen to a seasoned PUA and you can get in a slump for no apparent reason other than bad luck. Some people call it karma, some say it's the alignment of the planets in relation to your zodiac sign, others call it mere coincidence... I just call it the way that the world works, and something we may never be able to fully explain. You don't need a happy pill or to sit down on a couch answering questions from a shrink, and you don't need to change anything about your life. You just need to recognize that you are living a life that will be full of highs and lows, and that if you are currently at a low... you're about to be on your way back up. - Player87
Fear of rejection
Fear is the #1 reason men fail with women. You usually experience fear when you are not confident or don't have experience in a certain situation. One effective technique to overcome fear is to go out and say "hey" to everyone that you walk pass with a smile on your face. After that you can advance to small talk, then conversations and so on. But overall, you will not get over your fear unless you are exposed to it. That remains a fact. Just remember that when you overcome this you will be amazed and proud of how confident you have become than you were before in your social interactions with women. Now get out there and practice, and fear nothing. - by JasonSonic
Stop wishing and start living
You know that guy who has that one look you wish you had? Maybe his hair is straighter, his eyes are a bit bigger, has a smaller nose, anything like that. He has that one thing that you wish you could have. Well stop wishing. Just know that there is definitely something he is really insecure about, and when he looks at you, he wishes he could have your nose, or your ears, or anything else. No one is perfect, except those that realize their imperfections, embrace them, and move on with their lives. - by Moose
One of the most important, if not the most important aspect of your game is called confidence. What is it really? It is having the ability within your own self to do things with no doubt in one’s mind to accomplish something. 100% trust in oneself, and belief in yourself. It is not having your chest out, shoulders back and head high. No, that's acting it is far more than that. Quit worrying about how to look confident and just become confident. It is a main character that women are attracted to. Woman will never be satisfied with a bet character guy. Be that confident guy, and show everyone how you truly are. Always keep your Inner Game up at top level. - by Jorge
Value value value
If you want to be successful with gorgeous girls the number one thing you should remember is you should be the leader of the pack, the guy everyone looks up to. You've got to have value. You won't believe how many guys have a few unsuccessful closes and start to question their ability and undo all their hard work. Inner game and outer game goes hand in hand. Think highly of yourself and others will think highly of you - including gorgeous women. - YoungCasual
Have you ever found yourself thinking so much that you've completely drifted out of reality? When you've just been blown out of a set and you don't know what you've done wrong, you retrace your steps in hopes to find the answers. Over thinking will get you nowhere but create more stress. One way of finding out if you're over thinking is to consciously be aware of your problem, however if you find yourself scrunching your eyebrows and tensing your facial expressions to understand- simply stop and look at something else. You're over thinking again. - Sinful
The best advice I can give for confidence is this: Change your life style. Change your perception on how you view things, because perception shapes reality. Change how you see things and your reality will change your confidence levels. Live for yourself and do things that make you happy. Do things you are good at. Confidence more or less boils down to knowing what you are doing. Try picking up a hobby or do something that you are good at and make you feel good. Accomplishing feats through action is what builds character and confidence. - Player87
One great way to boost your self esteem is to start dressing better. Improve your looks. Take the extra time in the morning to do your hair, get your hair cut every few weeks. Invest in some good facial moisturizers for the morning. Go tanning. It will boost your self esteem, not to mention help get rid of unwanted acne, and makes you darker and more attractive to women. Another interesting correlation in life is that when your self esteem goes up, so does your confidence and your ability to pick up and seduce beautiful women. To sum it all up; start taking care of yourself. Women notice small details. Before you leave your house in the morning and go out at night, take an extra 5 seconds to look in the mirror. Notice how great you look, and then go out feeling confident. - Player87
Quick confidence booster
Just think about this: At least one girl has masturbated thinking of you. That's right. I don't care if you're fat, ugly, or have no game. At least one girl has played some downstairs DJ fantasizing about you. They've dreamed about what it'd be like to have sex with you. Just keep that in the back of your mind, save it for later, you never know when you might need it. - Moose
The alpha male!
Alpha in Greek is the first letter! It comes first, and the same can be said of Alpha Males, they come first. To be that guy, just be a real man; a man not governed by rules of society that apply to second-class men! Alpha = First class! So just show your MAN characteristics such as leadership, self-belief, self-confidence, positive attitude, no second-class behavior, no toleration of degrading or negative actions, and so on. Just be a MAN, just be YOU. Be the alpha! - Player87
Fear. This little four letter word can cause even the best looking men on the planet to fail with women, so if you think that you are a loser simply because you are afraid to approach women think again... we have ALL been afraid to approach a good looking woman before (and yes this includes me). Fear holds us back from becoming what we want to be and getting the most out of life, and this applies to all aspects of life not just picking up girls... it's one of the most important factors that separates those that succeed and those that fail. Even though fear is universal in the way that it can effect all areas of a person's life... one simple fact remains : As soon as you face your fear, it disappears. However, if you continue to run away from your fear you will be running forever... and the further you run the more room your fear has to grow. The only way to completely get past your fear is to run towards it, it's not going to kill you and will only make you stronger. The next time you see a beautiful girl that you want to talk to and that little voice inside of your head is trying to talk you out of it (that is your fear talking)... tell yourself that you will no longer be controlled by fear and that from now on YOU are in control, then get over there and talk to that girl. To some of you this may sound like a hard thing to do, but trust me... as soon as you are finished talking to her you will feel much better, and much less scared to approach women.
I shall improve
Picking up women is all about self improvement, just as much as it is about learning and practicing skills. You should always be trying to improve yourself, because improvement means better... and women are attracted to better men. The first step in improving yourself is to properly identify your good and bad qualities so that you can determine which areas of yourself need to be improved. Get out a pen and paper and write down the top 5 good qualities that you have that you think help you with getting women... then write down your top 5 qualities that you think stop you from getting women also. After you've done this you should begin to work on improving your bad qualities so that you can bring them into line with your good ones, which will make you a more well-rounded and attractive individual. You should also focus on using your good qualities more often now that you have identified them, because that will help you succeed more often with women. This may seem simple but just give it a try... if you have never really thought much about your personal traits then you may find that there is really a lot more to your personality than you know.
R E S P E C T, find out what it means to me
Respect is very important. You can't hope to get girls to sleep with you if they don't respect you... and even if you manage to it will only be because they are using you for other purposes and feel that you will not give them what they want unless sex is involved. In turn you must also have a certain level of respect for the women in your life... but at the same time even more respect for yourself. It is human nature to view people without confidence as unworthy of respect, so it should be obvious that you will first need to have a degree of confidence in yourself before you can expect to gain the respect of a woman. You are a man, and you need to let girls know that, and show them that you will not tolerate any level of disrespect towards you... which can only be done if you first have the respect of your friends and family. This is because people tend to be led by example, and if you bring a girl out and a friend of yours comes along and she notices that he is showing you disrespect and thinks lower of you, she will most likely view this as ok and begin to do the same herself. People will ALWAYS take advantage of others if given even the slightest opportunity, so always keep your guard up and stand up for yourself in even the smallest conflicts so you never fall into a situation in which people begin to show you disrespect... because one person doing it can quickly turn into ten in the blink of an eye.
In due time...
Greed is a bad thing, this we all know... and just as it is not good to get greedy when dealing with money, the same can be said for when you are dealing with women. Just like most skills that you can gain in life, you can't expect to get everything all at once... so in this case you can't assume that you will be able to go out and pull ANY girl right away. You need to start off slow and get some average girls before you can go ahead and get the perfect 10's, this will allow your skills the time they will need to properly develop. You can think of it as being similar to bodybuilding : If you train yourself hard for one week straight you will get a little bigger... but not much. However, if you continue training hard for another 6 months... you will get huge. Nothing worth having in life comes overnight, be patient and work hard... then you will have everything that you desire in due time.
The all-powerful mind
Do you have the problem of being shy around large groups of people, like when you go to a party or club? I had this same problem a while ago, I solved it by learning to "zone" in on particular people... like once I noticed a girl I liked, I would pretend that nobody else was around and then go up and talk to her, or if a girl came up to me i would immediately focus all of my attention on her and never look around at anyone else, this also helps you maintain good eye contact. If you feel much more comfortable around groups of people when you have a few of your close friends around you, but still have trouble with the initial starting up of conversations with girls, you can try this easy trick ; simply "pretend" that you've know the girl for a long time, as if you are already friends... that helps take the edge off of "talking to someone new" and can work wonders, give it a shot.
Build up that confidence boy
Constantly tell yourself how attractive you are... how any woman would be blown away by you if you sat down and had a chat and they got to know you. Tell yourself these types of things every day for one month, then take a good look at yourself in the mirror and you will notice that you actually DO look much better than you think. This will also boost your confidence at an amazing rate.
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