Getting girls for introverts
Introversion is not an affliction that prohibits you from getting laid, unless you make it that way. This guide to getting girls for introverts will help you understand the truth behind your personality type and how to overcome the obstacles standing in your way from being successful with women.
There’s a lot of misconception regarding introverts and extroverts.
When the word introvert comes to mind a description of shy or socially awkward usually accompanies it.
I guess this is because shyness is more common in introverts, which doesn’t surprise me because a lack or fear of social experience creates numerous problems if it gets out of hand.
Here’s a loose, basic definition of both:
They gain energy from being around people, socializing, and seem to lose energy and feel more down when alone.
They get drained of energy from prolonged social events or being around others, then need time alone to recharge.
Now there’s a scientific explanation for why extroverts and introverts think and feel the way that they do, but I won’t get into that since I’m no expert (from a psychological perspective).
Read the definitions one more time. Anyone can plainly see that introvert in the above definition does not translate into “awkward guy who hugs the wall at a party.”
The basic difference is that extroverts need to be around people to feel their best and only feel comfortable in their own skin when they are around others, while Introverts tend to stop feeling top notch after prolonged social occasions and need time alone to recuperate and reflect.
Shyness and anxiety are byproducts of other factors, not because you’re wired as introverted.
Nowhere does it suggest that getting girls for introverts should be hard.
I’m an introvert myself and I still get girls – so I’ll be drawing from personal experience – and I know what I’m talking about.
However, it wasn’t always that way:
I used to be a very withdrawn. Around my friends whom I’ve known for a long time I was fine, but something about meeting new people – especially cute girls – made me very anxious and uncomfortable.
Looking back at myself a little over a year ago, I can hardly believe the change.
So now I’m backtracking to reflect on my transformations and writing a guide to getting girls for introverts to help other introverted guys out there who falsely believe that becoming an extrovert (a most likely fruitless endeavor, yes I’ve tried and it did not work out) is the solution to their anxiety and shyness.
Here’s my two cents:
I realized that my anxiety all boiled down to myself and my thoughts.
Introverts are naturally more “inside their head” than extroverts.
They can – and often do – think very deeply about everything and anything. That was my problem, not the introversion, but the compulsive thinking.
When I was out with a bunch of people, I’d think far too much.
Not just about the immediate environment, but about anything and everything, relevant or not.
While I’d be off in my own world and someone intruded on my thoughts, I’d be pretty much startled, wrenched out of my train of thought.
So while the person talking to me gazes at me, eagerly awaiting a response, I’d either half-ass a remark, or ask them to repeat themselves.
Now put yourself in the shoes of someone who’s putting themselves out there trying to make a connection with somebody and they give you a reply, but you can tell they are not engaged in the interaction.
That makes you assume that this person probably either isn’t social or just doesn’t like you.
Basically, you’d feel like they don’t give a fuck about what you’re saying.
No wonder so many introverts have a bad rep.
Obviously the person isn’t going to feel good if they think you’re not paying attention to them, so they decide to give up on making conversation with you since you’re not engaged in the moment.
What do compulsive thinkers do at this point?
More thinking, more analyzing, more worrying.
It’s all downhill from there. It’s vicious cycle, and you’re left to suffer in silence, your mind is the tormentor and the prison.
It’s ironic that many introverts are considered bad conversationalists since in order to think deeply we have to be good at absorbing everything by being good observers and listeners.
The key to a having a flowing, natural conversation and vibe is to LISTEN.
In order to do so you can’t be trapped in your thoughts, you must be FULLY PRESENT.
This is the most important thing about getting girls for introverts to understand. The last thing a women wants is to believe you aren’t engaged in the conversation or listening to her.
The trick to overcoming this is to free your mind of irrelevant thinking. Focus on the now, without the background noise of random thoughts buzzing inside your cranium.
It sounds paradoxical – and it is – but it’s the solution to anxiety and shyness.
It’s also the trick to getting girls for introverts who are dealing with their mind getting in the way.
Without the internal dialogue, there can be no anxiety or shyness because in order to worry you need to be inside your head thinking about all the worst case scenarios.
But how do you interact with people if you’re not even thinking?
Assuming you have a basic understanding of the concepts of seduction, read on.
If not, I recommend that you first read “A Crash Course In Seduction” to quickly bring yourself up to speed.
Instead of giving fool proof advice – which I don’t have – I’ll use my own experiences once again:
When I’m out at a party, I make it my first and main priority to get out of my shell with haste.
I put an immediate stop to the internal conversation with myself.
While I’m talking to people, I pretty much just say the first thing that comes to mind and I react to people verbally as often as possible.
Basically whatever I’d normally be thinking internally, I simply say it out loud.
It doesn’t matter if in retrospect it’s kinda weird, nobody is taking notes. Most of the time it actually leads to very interesting conversations.
People don’t usually keep track of every word you’re saying, but they DO get a feel for the kind of vibe you’re giving off and your overall demeanor.
Keep talking and parts of your true personality will shine through, as long as you’re not over thinking.
Stop trying to pick and say the perfect words.
Now that you’re in a social mood, you can work on gaming girls. Getting girls for introverts is quite easy once you’re in the “zone”.
The same concept of not thinking applies here as well.
You will have fleeting thoughts from time to time, which is alright and a good thing, as being completely brainless and saying something truly retarded is counterproductive.
Clear your head of unnecessary thoughts and do what feels right. Trust your instincts.
Some people may read this and think that I’m telling introverts to go and be a loud mouth blurting whatever comes to mind, forcing themselves to talk nonstop.
Quite the contrary. I’m simply telling you that those thoughts that you usually keep to yourself can actually create great conversations if you let them out.
We’ve already established that introverts are great thinkers, which actually puts them in a much better position than extroverts in terms of always having things to talk about.
It’s just a matter of letting it out.
Silence from time to time is not horrible,the whole point is just not to go overboard and get trapped in a cycle of internal dialogue where you’re rendered immobile, struggling to find the right words.
Don’t be an obnoxious buffoon and don’t be a hovering wall flower, find a solid balance and just be real.
Don’t hold back, and be in the moment.
That will help you have incredible socials interactions, and ultimately is the key factor to getting girls for introverts to know.
Go out making the world your personal playground because that’s exactly what it is.
If you really want to learn how to break out of your shell and be able to just walk up to any hot girl with confidence and get her number, then you really need to read this.