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How to get out of the friend zone

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Get out of the friend zone


If you’re reading this, chances are you’re stuck and looking for a way to get out of the friend zone with a certain girl that you really like.

Perhaps you may have even fallen in love with her.

That can be a challenging and confusing situation to be in, but I’m here to show you how to handle it.

Let’s begin from the point where it all started.

Landing in the friend zone

When a girl first meets a new man, the initial few minutes of her interaction with him are crucial and will determine the type of relationship that will ensue from then on.

In simple terms: She will make all of her most important judgments about you within 3-5 minutes of meeting you.

During this ever-important window of time the girl will appraise your value and decide what type of man she thinks you are:

Are you boyfriend material?

Would her friends approve?

Do you act like a pushover?

Will she have sex with you?

Are you fun to be around?

Do you seem a little creepy?

Those are just some of the things that she will decide during that time. Yes, a woman can (and will) analyze that much stuff about you in only a few minutes.

They think very quickly, particularly from a social standpoint.

Upon determining how much potential you have, she will then decide if she wants to even continue to have any form of relationship with you at all.

Once this is done, she will then place you into one of two categories within her mind to govern the type of relationship that she feels you to be worthy of:

Potential lover or potential friend.

Her mind is all made up

Once a girl has made her decision and has placed you into one of these two categories, you could be stuck there for as long as you know her.

That is, unless you have the knowledge and balls to change her mind.

For example, if she considers you as a lover and you begin having a sexual relationship with her and then break up, there will be no “let’s just be friends now”.

The reason why this never works out is because the physical attraction is too strong. The awkwardness of the situation – and jealousy – prevents any real friendship for occurring.

On the other hand, she could consider you as a friend. You’d hang out with her hoping that something will magically happen and she will become gradually attracted to you so you’ll get out of the friend zone.

That is never going to happen if you act like most guys do under those circumstances.

They will be nice to her, buy her gifts, let her cry on their shoulder when her asshole boyfriend cheats on her, go shopping with her and always be on call to drive her wherever she pleases.

However, all of this effort would be in vain because she already categorized you when you first met her, and you simply can’t get out of the friend zone by doing those types of things.

Logically it makes sense, but logic and love don’t mix very well.

Everything I listed above is a huge mistake.

If you’ve already made plenty of those errors, you will have a harder time trying to get out of the friend zone than usual.

That’s not to say that it isn’t hard in the first place.

Can you ever make it out?

I’m going to keep it 100 with you; the chances of getting out of the friend zone once you’ve been there for a while are very slim, regardless of how hard you try.

It’s not impossible, but it can be a real challenge and has no guarantees.

Anyone who claims that they have some “secret way” to get out of the friend zone with guaranteed success is lying to you.

That’s the brutal honest truth, and even though you may be in this type of situation right now with a girl and are hanging on to any last hope that you may have, deep down you know what’s real.

If you have a crush on a girl that you are “just friends” with, you have a small chance to ever become her lover.

However, that doesn’t meant you shouldn’t try.

Your best shot at starting an intimate relationship with a girl is within the first few minutes of meeting her. If you don’t make the right impression at that time, her legs will be forever closed to you unless you make a drastic change.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this is just the way that it is.

Before I tell you what needs to be done if you are willing to attempt to change her mind about you and turn her into your girlfriend, first let me give you an alternative that may be more appealing.

Fantasy versus reality

Understand one thing; you do not need this particular girl.

You might feel like she is the perfect one for you and even believe that you’ll never find another like her.

You are incredibly wrong.

It’s true that every human being is unique to some degree, however when looked at as a whole we can all be lumped into larger categories with other people.

Take me for example:

I’m intelligent but I hate academics, athletic yet work on a computer, social but extremely private, egotistic yet understanding, energetic but in a calm manner, very vain yet don’t care about what people think, good at making money but horrible at managing it, liked by almost everyone yet the people who don’t truly hate me, and I have great leadership skills but always try to do everything myself.

I’m an artist, writer, dating coach, web developer, consultant, musician, graphic designer and a business man.

All of those things make me extremely unique, but I’m not naive enough to think that there aren’t plenty of other guys out there who are very similar to me and can do all of the same things that I do.

For all I know, you could be reading this right now thinking “Whoa, we are just alike.”

That’s very possible, and I understand that.

What you need to understand is that while every girl you meet is unique as person, it doesn’t mean she’s “one of a kind”.

Nobody truly is, and everyone has flaws to go along with their strengths (just look at mine).

With that said, she isn’t as special as you think.

Believing you can’t find another just like her – or even better than her – is selling yourself short.

So, here’s my alternative:

Is this girl even worth it?

The best thing to do once you’re in the friend’s zone is to forget about that girl and move on to the next one.

Doing this will save you the loads of heartache, money and time that you could possible spend while trying to get out of the friend zone with that girl.

Theoretically, with a huge amount of effort you could possibly convince the girl to date you.

However in that same amount of time you could have improved yourself to the point that she’s no longer even good enough for you, and you’re playing in a whole different league.

That’s the choice you have to make.

In Hollywood “chick flicks”, the nice guy who is best friends with the beautiful girl typically either out-smarts the “bad guy” or just gets lucky and ultimately ends up with the girl on his arm.

After that, they go on to live happily ever after and blah blah, bullshit.

In the real world, the nice guy will usually tip off the beautiful girl and she will realize how much of a jerk the bad guy is and dump him.

She will then just go out and meet another bad boy and begin dating him while the nice guy is still just her friend.

Have you ever thought about why girls love those chick flicks so much?

It’s because they are all fairy tales and have a plot that rarely happens in reality. If those movies were like real life then they wouldn’t be nearly as interesting to women.

It’s like the equivalent of what action flicks are to us men.

James Bond can drive a Porsche through an exploding building, ramp it off of the roof, shoot down a helicopter with a single shot while still in mid-air and then land on another rooftop without even getting a single scratch on his car.

Nobody real can do that. It’s the impossible that we are drawn to.

The nice guy in a chick flick may be able to get out of the friend zone without ever needing to act like a real man, but you don’t have that luxury since you ARE a real man, not a fictional movie character.

With that said, let’s get back on track:

Avoiding the friend zone

If you have just met a new girl and your actual intentions are to have a sexual relationship with her, you MUST immediately let her know that is what you want from her.

You need to have an “all or nothing” attitude when first gaming a girl, and express this in everything that you say and do.

Within the first few minutes of meeting her, if you can get the message across to her that you want to be her lover and not her friend, you will easily be able to avoid ever being dropped into the friend’s zone.

You can accomplish this simply by flirting properly, which includes touch, teasing, push & pull, smiling and a wide array of other techniques and methods (all of which can be found on this website).

Be fun and carefree, act as if you’re not looking for anything serious and just want to have a good time.

Never allow her dominate you in any way. Don’t buy her drinks or watch her purse for her when she needs to use the bathroom.

ALL of the nice guy, please-put-me-in-the-friend-zone shit ends now.

When you follow the guidelines listed above, you will never need to worry about how to¬†get out of the friend zone ever again, because you’ll never be there.

You will begin to have sexual relationships with girls rather than one-sided friendships in which you are just being used by girls due to being a nice guy.

Always remember:

The best way to get out of the friend’s zone is to avoid ever going there in the first place!

Now, for those of you stubborn enough to still want to pursue a girl that has already placed you into the friend zone, I’m going to show you the only real way to do it.

Get out of the friend zone

Be warned; this is not for the faint of heart. If you fail, your friendship with the girl will end.

That shouldn’t be a problem though.

If you’re trying to get out of the friend zone with this girl, it means that the current status of your relationship with her is unhealthy for you and SHOULD end if you can’t make her your girlfriend.

Being around someone that you are infatuated with is a very bad idea if they don’t feel the same, it will eat away at your confidence and self image.

Here’s what you need to do:

Forget about taking things slow and gradually chipping away at earning her affection. That’s what you’ve been doing up until now and you’re no closer to getting her in bed than you were on the day you met her.

It’s time for drastic and swift action.

Not only because it will help you get to the bottom of this quickly, but also since all women are attracted to men of action; guys who know what they want and go right after it.

That’s what I’m telling you to do.

You want her, right? Then man up and go try to get her.

Don’t hesitate or do this with a fear of failure; this will only work if you are calm and confident through the entire process.

Trying to get out of the friend zone with a girl is already hard enough, don’t make your job even more difficult by allowing your old way of thinking creep back in at the last moment.

Keep your composure and just get it done.

You need to go “all in”

Walk right up to her (no phone or text, this MUST be in person) and say something such as:

“I want to go out with you.”

That is short, simple and direct on purpose.

When a guy is stuck in the friend zone he is an expert at hiding his true feelings and avoiding the issue. By coming at her in a manner completely out of character, she’ll be surprised.

Not surprised by what you said, but shocked that is was YOU that said it.

She already knows that you like her (trust me on this, I’m right), but not in a million years did she think you’d ever have the balls to just ask her out like a man.

From that moment on – for better or worse – she’ll look at you in a completely different light.

Depending on how deep you’ve fallen into the friend zone and your past experiences with her, she could either become incredibly attracted to you or start feeling really awkward about your friendship.

This is why I said failure will result in the friendship ending.

For all you know she may have liked you all along and will be relieved that you finally asked her out, then you’ll get to feel like an idiot knowing that you put yourself through hell for no reason at all.

However, at that point you won’t give a shit because you’ve got the girl.

Things could go down really well or get bad pretty fast, but that’s the risk you need to take if you ever want to get out of the friend zone.

I’ve owned an operated this website since I was in college back in 2002, and over the past 14 years I have personally trained hundreds of men who needed to get out of the friend zone.

This is the ONLY strategy that has ever worked.

The key is how you say it

Let me repeat my example from above:

“I want to go out with you.”

That is a relatively bland way to ask her out, but ironically that exact phrase has always produced the highest rate of success.

In case that doesn’t sound right coming off of your tongue, you can always replace it with words of you own. Just keep in mind that the concept can not get lost in translation.

The most important rule is that it MUST be a statement, never a question.

Your goal is to tell her how you feel directly, and in the process ask her out indirectly. Not to just “ask” her out.

That means stuff like this should not be used:

“Do you want to go out with me?”

“Will you be my girlfriend?”

“Why don’t we go out on a date?”

Anything like that is a bad choice. If it ends in a question mark, don’t use it.

You don’t want to give her the option for a simple yes or no response.

Notice how she can just say “no” to any of those bad examples, yet her saying “no” to my good example doesn’t really make sense?

When she can’t answer with yes or no, it catches her off guard and forces her to respond with her true thoughts.

That is exactly what you want to get out of this, isn’t it?

Well now you know how.

You’ve just learned the only real way to get out of the friend zone, and this is as far as I can take you.

The rest is up to you.

Will you take advantage of this knowledge, man up and do what needs to be done?

That’s your choice to make.

If you want to learn my most effective method for breaking out of the friend zone, then read The Player’s Black Book.

All of my most private tricks and techniques can be found inside.

The Player
The Player’s Black Book

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