It is vital for any player to know how to flirt with women if he wants to pick them up. In this section you will learn all of the best flirting tips that wiil improve your skills at flirting with women tremendously.
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Conversation Tips - Learn the necessary conversation techniques and become great at talking to women. Learn what to say to women and how to say it in many critical situations.
Flirting Tips - It is vital for any player to know how to flirt with women if he wants to pick them up. Learn all of the best flirting tips to improve your skills at flirting with women.
Inner Game Tips - Learn tips that will teach you how to be confident around women and how to believe in yourself. An often overlooked, yet very important aspect of the game.
Outer Game Tips - These tips are for learning how to act around women, and can teach you what to do to make women want you. Learn how to behave around women.
Lifestyle Tips - The way you live your everyday life has a greater impact on relationships with women than you think! These tips will help you lead a lifestyle women are drawn to.
Dating Tips - Use this section to master the art of dealing with relationships, how to handle the first date, where to go on a date, and many other great strategies for dating women.
User Submitted Tips - These tips have been sent in by players wanting to add their knowledge to the Becomeaplayer.com resource. Don't forget to send in your own tips as well!
The Flirting Tips...
Real phone game
Your phone game should be flawless when trying to get a date. You should learn how to flirt on the phone or you won't be able to close the deal. Here's a tip that will teach you how to flirt on the phone. Most guys don't realize that proper flirting on the phone is the key to getting a girlfriend. You see, women will most likely forget the people they met in the club or party they attended. If you have her number, it means you might have done or said something to make her give it to you. However, don't be surprised if she asks you to re-introduce yourself when you call her.
So, now you're back to square one and you have to flirt with her all over again. Here are 3 tips on how to flirt on the phone. 1) Deepen your voice; A sexy hello is preferable to a squeaky one. Adjust your tonality so that you sound sexy on the phone. Exchanging pleasantries on the phone is the same as exchanging a handshake; you have to get it right, or you risk making a bad first impression. 2) Smile when you're talking. Do this exercise right now: record your voice. Compare the way you sound while you're smiling and while you're frowning. This slight difference will make or break the way you flirt on the phone. A smiling hello will make her feel welcome, while a frowning one will scare her. 3) Do not phrase your initial greeting as a question. Say hello like you would when meeting her in person. A lilting hello makes you seem weak, particularly if you're leaving a message on her answering machine. Here's a bonus tip: 4) To really learn how to flirt on the phone, you must get over your fear of silence. Sometimes, pauses are necessary to let the other person digest what you've just told her. Rambling on and on to prevent pauses will make her want to cover her ears and get rid of you as soon as possible. - Flirt Mastery
How girls work
This is how it works, if the girl likes you she will flirt when you make the move and you ask her out. Girls look at a guy swagga( best dress), hygiene, game. If you don have game she can see that, Girls can see if a guy can talk to her to get he into bed. Always smile lady's love that. Don't jump right in to ask for her number say this "i think you are very pretty i would like to talk to you some more can i get your number." because if she says no later she will feel bad because you made her feel good and she denied you. because the one whose been denied will leave with the most digits. Also, music don't jump right in and say i listen to rap, say R&B. to some usher,jaime fox, anthony hamilton. When on a date fist thing you see her give her a hug and tell her how pretty she looks follow my rules don't be a slope order meat make sure it does not have any sauce be careful. respect females always and make sure tell her honesty tell her you like her if you do. follow my rules you will get laid. - Ja'Shawn (spider) Foston
Be the leader
Wait for a song to come up. Preferably Latin Music. Ask a girl to dance. Act like you are directing traffic, or act like a dance instructor. When dancing with her, point left with your finger and turn her left. Then point to the right and turn her to the right. Do this a bit, not too much and keep smiling. Act a bit silly, but don't be a clown. She will start to giggle and smile and think you are nuts. But she is now comfortable and its something nobody has ever done to her. Then get close to her ear (body language) and tell her with a slow tone: " Shit is that a smile? Wow finally, I thought you were mad at me"...She will smile even more and say "No, No". When the song is over leave it as incomplete, say Thanks and leave. You got her stumped and all wet now. An hr later if you think you really like her..pull her to the side start a new conversation and get them digits from her. Your feet are already wet. She will feel flattered that you came back for her. - Just_Plain_Old_Me
When she asks your age
To often I see young guys flirting with older females, everything goes smooth and then the inevitable question pops up: "How old are you?" Most guys will try to come up with something like: "Old enough" or "Age is just a number" etc. What you are actually doing is proving your worthiness to her, you are trying to make yourself available for her and removing all obstacles between you getting her. Through lots of practice I've come up with the perfect price-oriented solution/line: Her: "How old are you?" Me: "To young for you." and then make slight body language motions that indicate you have lost interest in the conversation and start looking at other targets etc. (turning your shoulders slightly away from her works very well) Now she can't have you.... and you will just stand by and see how much effort she will do to prove to you that age doesn't really matter and try to get your attention back (since you lost interest in her). Sweet huh? Although it might sound crazy, I definitely works and I have used it successfully many times. This can of course be used in the opposite way too, though I haven't field tested it myself yet when older males say: "too old for you". - VoodooChild
Humor for Flirting
If you really want to know how to flirt effectively, your sense of humor must be intact. Once you start talking to women, they will dish out jokes that could be offensive if taken the wrong way. Some women love making men feel uncomfortable by talking about beer bellies, receding hairline or height. If you show signs of getting pissed, they will continue on mercilessly until you walk off in shame. See humor in the situation, and revel in the fact that theyíre actually flirting with you. When you laugh along with them, you have the freedom to pinch some cheeks or poke some sexy ribs inside the group. You can even pretend to be so pissed that youíre storming off and taking a souvenir with you (you can put your arms around a girl in the group). This is easy banter that you can enjoy if you just let yourself go. - Flirt Mastery
How to Flirt Effectively
Every man wants to know how to flirt effectively, but learning is just the tip of the iceberg. You can learn all the moves and the right words, but you have to start with your mind set. First, you have to be perfectly fine with your brand of humor. Secondly, you should be able to see yourself as a guy with value. These concepts of self acceptance and self value will make all the tips you receive on how to flirt effectively work to your favor. Letís discuss how each of these mind set factors will make you a flirt master. If you just let yourself feel that you have enough value for women to fight over, your flirting game will change. Sometimes, itís easier to just sit back and let the women do the flirting. Once you open the conversation channels, you invite women to flirt with you. Be more intuitive to flirting, especially with touchy feely girls, and you might just realize how these girls are trying to grab your attention. - Flirt Mastery
So I've told a bunch of people this tactic before and it's something I use consistently. This is important for gaming older women and is also a great tip for anyone concerned they are too young for their TOI. Now inevitably age comes up, especially if you look younger and the woman is clearly older than you. Age should never be a factor and it should be avoided by any experience PUA. I tend to be curious and ask because I like to know where their mindset is. So when I ask a 30+ woman or a woman who is at least 5 years older than me I in turn get asked the same thing. Sometimes they'll just blurt it out since I do look pretty damn young. Its okay, theres a way to keep her mind at ease and make yourself cocky funny at the same time. I'm 23, so 15 is an incredibly young age to throw out there. So whenever I am asked my age I fall back to I'm 15. This will usually get a laugh and some kino probably from her nudging me for teasing her, but it will also more often than not get her to question me again. When she asks again you simply ask her what age she thinks you are. When she does this she may say a flattering age very close to hers. If she does this you tell her shes wrong and shell say a younger age. After the 2nd guess you tell her no you were right the first time, I just didn't want to make it that easy for you. There you go, now you are effectively in her age range and the comfort level is now sky high. This works for all ages.. If you're actually 15 tell her you're 13 how great it feels to be finally a teenager. This is highly effective. Then you can probably get away with saying you're 17. Try it, thank me later. - Wood
Staring - The IOI Game
This is perhaps one of the first things I learned when I joined the PUA community. Eye contact. Obvious for so many reasons. But lets go through a routine that is both effective and a signal for you to act. This is very basic and all you have to do is look a TOI in the eyes and maintain contact. If she doesn't turn away then the next step is to hold for however long you deem appropriate. Next you look at your watch. Take a good hard look. Then look up at her again. If she looks at her watch then you have just won the battle buddy. The girl wants you and all you have to do is walk over and do your thing. If she doesn't look at your watch and just looks away, you still have to talk to her. Don't ever pass up opportunity. But yea, the watch trick... test it out. - Wood
I am a firm believer that negs and DHV should be relatively unrehearsed. Also, do not insult the girl. Most women, believe it or not, are relatively insecure. If you insult them they are going to automatically associate you with having a negative connotation. Just like text game, you want to throw that smiley face into the text conversation when you want her to know that you are teasing. In real life, do the same thing. Throw a cute smirk or laugh to let her know that you are only teasing. Don't give into her little pouty face bullshit either. Sometimes when you are teasing a girl they will throw a shit test at you; they want to know how confident you are. For instance, if you throw a neg at a girl, and she turns all bratty like you hurt her feelings, don't give in. The worst thing you can do is be like, "Ooooooh I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, I'm only joking, come on cheer up, I'll buy you a drink". If you said this after a neg you have effectively lost whatever value you had gained for yourself. Negging all together should really only be done in the early stages of attraction. If you prolong the negging you will never effectively make that jump to sexual tension. There is a difference between teasing and negging. Teasing is a mutual thing that goes hand in hand with flirting. Negging is a way for you to prove to a girl right off the bat that you are different from all the other guys out there. You are proving you are different because you aren't treating her like she's the most beautiful thing ever, and that's different. For DHV, a good anecdote always puts it over the top. Tell a good story that talks about women in your life, loyalty to friends, outlandish adventures, etc. Pretty much anything to show her that you are likable and valuable. Try to think of a real story if you can. Just be natural though, I know all this PUA stuff seems like a science, but it's really just natural. The most unnatural thing is opening, but once you are knee deep in conversation things take care of themselves. Just don't forget to move locations, and Kino escalate and you will be fine. - Player87
Women feel what you feel. If you go into a set, or open a target, in a nervous or hesitant manner, she is going to be nervous or hesitant too. It is impossible to pick up a woman who feels uncomfortable around you, so just relax. Speak in a calm, soothing manner, and sit or stand very comfortably. It also gives you a mysterious image, and she will eagerly anticipate any emotion you show and oblige. Great eye contact is a good way to display your comfort with someone. She will follow your actions and open herself up to you. - by BBX
Take it easy
Everyone knows the type of guy in a group that no one can stand. He may be obnoxious, loud, strange, or just unappealing, but there is usually one thing in common with all these people: they try too hard! This applies to dating as well. When you try too hard to be funny or to tease a woman, you will drive them away. It's obvious to a woman when a guy is trying to win her attention and you will only come across as desperate. Don't focus on making a girl laugh or trying to tease them. Simply focus on having a good time and include her in it. - GoinPhoenix
We can't stop, won't stop...
Persistence can go a long way. When a woman rejects your initial advance it does not generally mean that you can not pick her up, in most cases it simply means that she will not let you have her that easily. To handle situations like this you can use the two minute rule : When you approach a girl you should always spit game to her for a FULL two minutes before walking away and accepting the fact that she is simply not interested... regardless of what she says during those two minutes. You will be surprised by how many women will start warming up to you within two minutes... and by using this technique you will end up with a much higher success rate than you would if you were to just accept defeat right away.
Let me get that for you
Here is a great kino tip... for those that don't know, simply put kino means the art of flirting by touch, for more in-depth information on kino do a search on it at this site and you'll find a few good articles. On with the tip : Whenever you are with a girl and her hair is falling in her face, gently use your index finger to "pull" the hair back and place it behind her ear. When you do this rub your finger down behind her ear all the way down to her ear lobe. Girls respond very well to this and it seems to have a comforting/soothing effect on them... they love it. You can do this as often as you like and once a particular girl becomes accustomed to you doing it to them they will even look forward to you doing it. As an added bonus you can say something nice to them or give them a good compliment while you do it, which will magnify the effect.
When you are approaching a group of girls and you've already picked out the one that you want, the only thing that should be running through your mind is "I need to get her ALONE!". Yes, that it your first and foremost goal... to separate her from her friends. When I say alone I do not mean back at your place doing the nasty, save that for later. I mean you need to get her off to the side with you, away from her friends so that you can have a one on one conversation without anyone else around to ruin your game. Doing this also allows her to open up more and flirt with you the way that she really wants to, around her friend she will be more reserved because of the fear of them thinking that she is being slutty. Now before you even begin to isolate the girl, you first need to know that she will allow you to break her off from her group... and you do this by talking to the entire group while watching for signs of attraction from each of them. If you are not getting signals from your target girl that shows she is interested, but are getting them from one or two other girls in the group... you will either need to switch your target or forget about the approach. This is because girls tend to be very faithful to their friends when they are together, even though they are not very faithful to them when they aren't around. So if your initial target notices that one of her friends is feeling you right away, she may back down. This can not be said for all girls however, sometimes the group will go into competition mode in which they all compete for your attention... which is good. This is exactly why you first need to look for signs of attraction by talking to the entire group at first, because these type of situations can go down many different ways... and you have to be able to adapt on the spot if you want to successfully get one of them away from their friends. Once you know exactly which girl you are going to isolate, you can begin to focus your attention on her. At first begin to make eye contact with her while you are still asking questions to the entire group, then begin to ask questions directly to her... and when you feel the time is right, make the move. Say something to your target like "I want to show you something", after she says ok ask the other girls in the group "Can I borrow your friend for a second... I promise I'll bring her back". They will agree because if they do not the girl that you are trying to separate will feel as if she is being controlled by her friends which will embarrass her in front of you... in which case she will go with you anyway in an attempt to show you that her friends can not boss her around, so either way it works in your favor. Once you've got her off to the side spit game to her like a champ and get the digits, this is the easy part.
Your ok... but your friend is better
If you notice a girl that you like but she is with one of her friends, try this approach. My favorite way to do this is to talk to the "uglier" friend first in order to make the hot one jealous... because if you talk to the hot one directly the other might like you too and get jealous... then she will do just about anything to ruin your chances with her friend - not good! Go up to the ugly one and say something like "I really like your (insert something : pants, shirt, hair... anything) then after she says thanks quickly move on to the hot one and give her a compliment also... then keep talking to BOTH of them for a while, but gradually focusing more on the hot one, until the point comes when you are only talking to her... then end the conversation by getting her number and setting up a date.
On the rebound
Whenever a girl that you are talking to brings up the subject of her ex-boyfriend, you've got to immediately change the subject every time she does... the last thing you want is for her to think you are a "shoulder to cry on". If you learn that she had just recently gotten out of a long-term relationship it's kind of a sticky situation... you can most likely get her to want you in terms of sex/messing around... but after a relationship that lasted that long its too soon to pressure her into a relationship, it could possibly scare her off. The best thing might be to first get her in a playful mood or at least happy (and most importantly not thinking about her ex and realizing how much fun she is having without him) then explain to her that you want her to be your girl but you don't want to rush anything... tell her that you'll move at her pace and if she wants you to back off a little and slow down all she has to do is say so and you will... then tell her that you don't like playing games and if she wants to be your girl she going to have to tell you.
It was an accident, I swear!
Here is a good one I used a few times back in school... but it'll require some balls on your part. What you do is bump into her in the hallway and make sure you knock her books down (if she doesn't normally carry them then carry yours and when you bump her drop them) then when you both bend down to pick them up say something like "Wow, I've seen you in the hall a few times and thought you were kind of cute, but from up close your gorgeous" then tell her you want to chill with her after school and say "is there a number I can reach you at?" Make sure you ask for her number like that because it works 100 times better than "can i have your number", and you don't have to use that same compliment, you can use anything that you really like about her... if she is the type of girl that likes to dress impressive or look like she cares a lot about what clothes she wears (most are) then that might be the way to go... girls like that dress nice because they are hoping someone will notice and say something... you'll make her day if you tell her that her shirt/jeans look cool and she will like you a lot more because you noticed.
Your the man!
Act like your the king of the world. Be rude, but not enough to offend. Make yourself appear dominant in everything that you do... even if your not good at it! Tom Cruise can't really kick anyone's ass, but he sure looks like he can in his flicks, right? It's all about the illusion, people would rather see something that looks good than something that works better, master the illusion and you'll master the girls. Let them think you've got money even if you don't. Make them think you get all of the girls even if you've never been laid before. This is very easy to do, be creative... you can take this as far as you want to go with it!
Just do it... do it... DO IT!
Never ask a girl if you can kiss her! Just do it. This is one of those situations where females like to see a man that can take control and do what he wants, so show her that you've got the balls and just do it. If you ask her for permission in advance she'll think that your scared to be a man, and even if she still lets you kiss her... she'll think less of you afterward.
Let's go back to school...
Tease those girls, they like it! Remember back in 2nd grade when girls had "cooties" and you'd tease them, fight with them, and pick on them? Sure you do! It's time to go back to 2nd grade people, because women still respond positively to this. Teasing them lets them know that you are playful and could care less what they (or anyone) think about you. Women love care-free men that do what they want... and I know that you want to pick on them sometimes. Why? Because it's fun... and girls just wanna have fun, and they want a guy that they know they can have fun with. BE THAT GUY and you'll get more girls.
Just touch her already, you'll probably like it:)
KINO KINO KINO! Touch those girls man! Touching is the most important part of flirting. Want to let a girl know that you like her? Touch her! Want to make a girl like you more? Touch her! Want to let a girl know that your not scared to touch her? Ok, you get my drift. Simply touch her hand or wrist, maybe even her arm and you will do all of the above. This is easy to do, it just takes some balls... so go out and a limb and touch hers :)
And they say WE think about it all day long
Woman constantly talk abound finding their soul mate, knight in shining around, price charming, etc. DON'T fall for this! This may be true that they all want these things deep down... but on the surface they are just as horny as we are! With that in mind, save the romantic relationship-based stuff for afterwards, the REAL way to a woman's heart is through her pants. Get her turned on and show her who's "the man" in bed, then she will fall in love with you.
Surprize! But it ain't your birthday!
This is one of my favorite tricks to use in order to get that "first kiss" without all of the anticipation and awkwardness. Simply do the following, but make sure she has warmed up to you first, or she may get pissed: Ask her if she likes surprises, if she says yes... kiss her. If she says no, kiss her anyway, and then say "My bad, I forgot you didn't like surprises". This seems to work extremely well for me, and it's an easy, yet creative method to use.
This one is just dirty
Tease her with attention. While you are macking on a particular girl, go away after you've talked for a while and begin talking to someone else. Try to make it a male friend you go talk to, or she will think your a player... (let's make that OUR secret, ok?). This will drive her crazy, and if you've made a decent impression on her, she won't be able to think of anything except you... and when your going to come back. Some of the bolder females out there may even come and butt into your new conversation. However, if she does not, go back after a short period of time and you will find her most happy that you did.
Tickle tickle tickle
Once you think she feels comfortable around you, and if it would be appropriate given the current situation, ask her if she is ticklish. If she answers yes or maybe, proceed with the tickling. If she answers no, say "I think your lying" and proceed with the tickling. From my observations, I would say that eight out of ten girls are ticklish. Plus, if she really likes you and is truly not ticklish, she will fake it anyway. Tickling is a very good trick to use because it involves touching, and you should touch her whenever possible. I can't really explain it, but for some reason women respond very well to the touch, as long as it's delivered in a respectful manner (no ass or boob grabbing people).
The seductive smile...
Upon making eye contact with a woman that you are interested in, always smile. I'm not talking about one of those huge "say cheese" smiles, rather a smirk (maybe a little bit more than a smirk) that says "I'm happy you've looked at me". Once smiling, hold the gaze for 1-2 seconds, then look away. After looking away, try to get her to make eye contact with you again, if this happens go over and talk to her, because her second look was your invitation.
Do this... but watch out for a cat fight!
While you are talking to a group of girls, always remember to flirt with ALL of them, even the ones that you don't find attractive. This will put them into "competitive mode", in which all of the women will begin to try to win your affection because of your display of interest in each of them. Once this is accomplished you will be able to have your pick out of any of them, because the woman you choose will feel like she is the "winner". Every girl wishes to feel like she is the best looking in her group, and if you help her achieve this goal, you will become her player in shining armor :)
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