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What’s so bad about being a player?

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Being a player isn’t wrong


Many people are uneducated when it comes to what being a player actually is and how a real player should conduct him/her self.

Contrary to popular belief, players and haters aren’t the only two groups of people in the dating game.

There’s plenty of stereotypes people could fall into.

However if we were to generalize (and for the sake of getting my point across, we’re going to), there’s really three main groups:

The Players, the Watchers, and the Confused.

Remember, we’re not categorizing everyone in the world, only those eligible to participate in the dating game at any given time.

For example, people in long term relationships are a different group entirely.

Now let’s break down these three types of people:

The Players

These are those who are actively participating in the dating game.

Some may be seasoned players and some many be new to the game, but EVERYONE who is dating people – on any sort of level – is being a player.

If you’re playing the dating game, you’re a player.

Yes, this goes entirely against conventional thinking. The term “player” is typically reserved for men who date multiple women at once.

However, what about girls who are juggling a few guys?

Promiscuous? Not necessarily.

Girls should be able to explore their options before making a solid decision just as men do.

Just because you see a girl going on a lot of dates does not mean she’s going home with all of those guys.

She’s just playing the game. Deal with it.

You see, this is why being a player is a term that makes much more sense when applied to everyone in the dating game.

Every game needs players, otherwise it isn’t a game.

It’s as simple as that.

The Watchers

The watchers are those who fully qualify (aka, single) for being a player, yet for various reasons choose to not participate in the dating game.

Some may try every so often, while others would never even think about it putting themselves out there like that.

Typically, watchers are scared of being a player because of a wide range of reasons, the most common being: shyness, fear of rejection, low self esteem and lack of confidence.

Many people in this category really want to get involved and find a partner, yet something about their personality holds them back.

Is that happening to you? Read these articles:

How to be comfortable talking to girls and A guide to getting girls for introverts.

Others have been so beaten down by past failures that they’ve just completely given up on trying to get out there and meet people.

Did that just hit home? Read these articles:

5 mistakes men make with women and How to stop being needy with girls.

Some even believe that they aren’t good looking or cool enough to be dating. This leads to a massive fear of ever attempting to try.

Does that sounds like you? Read these articles:

Are you too ugly to get a girlfriend? and How to stop fearing rejection by girls.

All of those are links to other great articles here on this website.

Make sure to read any that seem like they might help you in being a player in the dating game.

Now on to the last group, the confused.

The Confused

These are those who would commonly be referred to as the “haters”.

These confused people sit around feeling sorry for themselves and throw the blame on other people while their problem actually lies in their own inability to understand how the dating game works, and what the overall purpose of the game is.

In reality, the only difference between the Confused and the Watchers is that the former tend to externalize their problems and blame the world around them, while the latter internalize everything and blame themselves.

They’re both going about it all wrong.

If you’re unhappy with your own dating life, being upset is only natural.

Not doing something positive about it is the only mistake you could make.

Hating on someone else for being a player in the dating game or withholding yourself from getting involved are both equally unproductive and guaranteed to get you nowhere fast.

If you spend time caring about who someone else is or what they have, you’re taking time away from becoming the person you want to be and getting the things you want to have.

Get it? You are gaining nothing.

That is why this group is called the Confused, because they just don’t understand the nature of how dating works or what being a player is all about.

Yes, I will admit that there are a few “bad apples” out there, and that some players have only bad intentions.

However if you look at players as a whole, we are simply searching for the person that is right for us.

That is the true purpose of the dating game.

Some of us explore our options on an intimate level, while others only do it through casual dating.

The process that we go through in order to find our perfect match is simply trial and error.

This is where things tend to get a bit ugly.

When we (men AND women) try different people to find out who we enjoy the most and who we are compatible with, often times we are judged and criticized by others.

For men, we are being a player for dating multiple girls.

For women, they’re chastised for seeing multiple guys.

I think that’s all wrong.

When you realize that the current person you are dating is not “the one”, you have the right to drop them regardless of your reasons.

That is how love works.

Look at it this way; if you try a shirt on in a department store and it doesn’t fit, you have the right to put it back. Right?

Dating works the same way because we are essentially “shopping” for our lifetime partner.

If a person doesn’t fit into your life, it’s over.

One of the major issues players are faced with is when women complain about us not wanting anything to do with them after things get intimate.

Men acting in this fashion could be for any of a wide range of reasons, but all point to the simple fact; she is not “the one”.

It could be that she was a bad lover, too easy to get into bed or ANY other reason.

I’m being serious.

Do you think you’ll be able to stay with someone for the rest of your life if they aren’t even a good fit after a week or two?

Unless you think divorces are fun, then you only have one shot at this.

Make it count and be as picky as you want.

It does not matter what turned you off because now that it has been imprinted on your mind she could never be the one for you.

This is not your fault.

You don’t have the power to erase from your memory this bad experience that you subconsciously relate her to.

She needs to understand that fact and quit acting so selfishly.

Yes, I said SELFISH.

Think about it; just because she believes that you are her “one and only” means that you should stay with her when you don’t feel the same?

She must be out of her mind!

This works both ways or it doesn’t work at all.

Speaking of both ways, the fact that I’m writing this from a male perspective does not mean that this rule is a double standard.

A woman has the right to drop you for any reason as well.

However, there’s one particular instance (more than one, but this is the biggest culprit) in which people have the right to be angry.

It’s the lying, and it has to stop.

If you tell a girl that you want to be with her or that you love her when you really have an ulterior motive, then you are not being a player, you’re a liar.

Real players never lie because we don’t have to.

There are many ways to get around saying something that you don’t mean by changing the subject or giving a well-directed compliment, which will get you exactly what you want also.

Shady tactics just aren’t cool.

Speaking of shady stuff, let me touch base on this whole “pick up artist” stuff that is going around.

Many people get players confused with pick up artists while they are two totally different things.

Let’s put an end to the debate:

Player

A player is someone with an active dating life that is appealing to others.

Through practice, these people have learned to make the right moves because they have perfected their skills by training themselves to stop making the wrong ones.

Players learn from various sources, but the majority of what they learn comes from the actual experience that they get by using this knowledge in real life situations.

Whether a player chooses to use his skills to date multiple girls at once or cheat on his partner is his own choice.

Those are just bad people.

The fact that a man is labeled as being a player simply means that he is active and successful in the dating game.

Just because he has the ability to pick up many girls does not necessarily mean that this is what he does.

A real player has a sense of honer and morals, meaning that he would rather use actual skill to pick up girls than trickery and shady tactics.

Why pretend when you are the real deal?

Players have genuine confidence.

Pick Up Artist

Similar to a con artist, but instead of stealing money they are stealing dates.

The pick up artist is the type of guy that will always fall for the next “get rich quick” scam, as he is always looking for the fast and easy way to solve his problems.

Pick up artists on average know about 50 times more about picking up girls than players do, but the relevance and usefulness of this information that they know is questionable at best.

In turn, pick up artists have about 50 times less experience at actual dating than players do, simply because they spend too much of their time learning canned lines and routines.

Pick up artists typically make up for this lack in skill with what you can call “cheats” in which they will lie, trick, degrade, make fun of or even attempt to hypnotize girls into liking them.

I’m not joking. These guys actually try to use hypnotic techniques on girls.

It’s laughable.

Pick up artists have no sense of honer or morals, as they only seem to thrive when they succeed at making a girl feel bad enough about herself that they bring her down to their own low level.

Pick up artists have false confidence.

Obviously, here at Becomeaplayer.com we do not endorse the Pick Up Artist lifestyle or teachings.

This website is not about manipulating women into dating you, it’s about improving yourself so they’ll just want to.

If you think that being a Pick Up Artist might be the easy way to start getting girls, think again. Using shady methods, you’ll never elevate yourself – as a person – to the level where you need to be to get top notch women.

Maybe you’re a player, maybe you’re a pick up artist or perhaps you are somewhere in between.

The choice is yours.

Does being a player sound like it would suit you? Then read my book to learn how to do it the right way and be extremely successful with women!

The Player
The Player’s Black Book

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