These tips are for improving the way that you act and the things that you do to make you more appealing & attractive to women... very important!
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Conversation Tips - Learn the necessary conversation techniques and become much better at talking to women. Know exactly what to say in many critical situations.
Flirting Tips - It is vital for any player to be a master of flirting if he wants to pick up women. Learn all the best tips that will improve your skills at flirting with women.
Behavior Tips - These tips are for improving the way that you act and the things that you do to make you more appealing & attractive to women... very important!
User Submitted Tips - These tips were sent in by players wanting to add their knowledge to the Becomeaplayer.com resource... don't forget to send in your tips also!
The Behavior Tips...
Pimp my wall
I was recently asked by one of our regular site visitors to post something about how to set up your house/room correctly. Aside from furniture which can be expensive, artwork and posters are an affordable yet effective alternative to spicing up your living space, because the first thing that women will notice in your place is what you have on the walls. If they see something stupid or immature it will lower your chances of her sticking around long enough for much to happen, or even worse she will see nothing at all and figure that you are either broke or have no sense of style. When choosing what to put on your wall, it's very important to pick items that will attract interest and can be possibly used to start a conversation. Things to avoid are posters displaying your favorite music artists or movie stars, because this may bring up a conflict of interest if the girl that you've brought home likes other types of music or movies. Don't get me wrong, debate can be a good thing, but pure interest will always beat it. Your ultimate goal is getting her to believe that your decorations are interesting, and thus in turn believe you to be equally intriguing. With that in mind, stick to artwork/posters that can be considered neutral in most cases, but still cool and interesting.
Fear. This little four letter word can cause even the best looking men on the planet to fail with women, so if you think that you are a loser simply because you are afraid to approach women think again... we have ALL been afraid to approach a good looking woman before (and yes this includes me). Fear holds us back from becoming what we want to be and getting the most out of life, and this applies to all aspects of life not just picking up girls... it's one of the most important factors that separates those that succeed and those that fail. Even though fear is universal in the way that it can effect all areas of a person's life... one simple fact remains : As soon as you face your fear, it disappears. However, if you continue to run away from your fear you will be running forever... and the further you run the more room your fear has to grow. The only way to completely get past your fear is to run towards it, it's not going to kill you and will only make you stronger. The next time you see a beautiful girl that you want to talk to and that little voice inside of your head is trying to talk you out of it (that is your fear talking)... tell yourself that you will no longer be controlled by fear and that from now on YOU are in control, then get over there and talk to that girl. To some of you this may sound like a hard thing to do, but trust me... as soon as you are finished talking to her you will feel much better, and much less scared to approach women.
I shall improve
Picking up women is all about self improvement, just as much as it is about learning and practicing skills. You should always be trying to improve yourself, because improvement means better... and women are attracted to better men. The first step in improving yourself is to properly identify your good and bad qualities so that you can determine which areas of yourself need to be improved. Get out a pen and paper and write down the top 5 good qualities that you have that you think help you with getting women... then write down your top 5 qualities that you think stop you from getting women also. After you've done this you should begin to work on improving your bad qualities so that you can bring them into line with your good ones, which will make you a more well-rounded and attractive individual. You should also focus on using your good qualities more often now that you have identified them, because that will help you succeed more often with women. This may seem simple but just give it a try... if you have never really thought much about your personal traits then you may find that there is really a lot more to your personality than you know.
Get your swole on
Need confidence? One of the best ways to get confidence is something that men have been doing forever, and if you don't already do it I know you've thought about it... many times. What am I talking about? Lifting weights! Training you body on a regular basis can be very beneficial to your overall health as well as give you a huge boost in confidence because you will FEEL more attractive as well as BE more attractive... and feeling attractive is one of the most important things you need to be a real player. You have to know that you are the man and that the ladies want you, because this confidence is the type that sticks out like a sore thumb and everyone notices. You don't even need to exercise hard or lift heavy, every little bit that you do will be noticeable. If you are a guy that is naturally slim (like me) your muscles will pop right out and look huge in no time because we have very little body fat to hide all of the "cuts" that toned muscles produce... giving us a great looking body with minimum work involved. If you are overweight you may need to train harder for your muscles to really be seen because at first they will be "hidden" under the excess fat that you have, but each time you work out you will be burning that fat and slimming down... which is something you need to do anyway if you want to keep in shape. I see no real reason for any man that is in good health to not be lifting weights (unless you have a medical condition that restricts the exercise that you can do) and the only reason why you would not be doing this is because you are lazy. Women don't like lazy men, so get up, get out and get the body you always wanted! Also, FYI... I only lift 3 days a week for less than 20 minutes each session and have a great body that women love and always compliment me on, so if you think it requires a ton of work... think again.
Shaving the right way
Ready for the best advice on shaving that you will ever get? To get the best possible shave and look as good as possible you only need four things : Regular 3-blade razor (Mach 3 type), straight blade razor (the kind barber's use), a handheld mirror and warm water. Forget about electric razors, they will never be able to invent an electric razor that will be able to perform as well as a blade... plus they are way too expensive for the quality of shave you get from them. Forget about shaving cream, it does not do anything besides for give you razor burn, shaving creams are made by the same companies that sell those "Get rid of razor bumps" creams and lotions... it's just another way to get money out of your pocket. I never use shaving cream and never get razor burn... ever. Warm water moisturizes your skin well enough to get a great shave, and when I say warm I mean HOT, you need it really hot in order to open up your pores and soften your facial hair enough to be shaved easily. Ok now on to the process... the first step it to drench your entire face in warm water, then get out your Mach 3 and completely shave all of the areas that are not near any facial hair that you will be keeping. For example, if you have a goatee then you want to shave almost near it with the Mach 3, but not too close because that will be done with the straight blade. Do the same thing for your sideburns... get close but not too close so you can shape them with the other blade. Always shave with the grain, never against it (this means shave down, not up)
and when you are finished with the Mach 3 put it down and grab your straight blade and handheld mirror. You need the handheld mirror so you can hold it beside your head and use it along with the mirror on the wall to get a perfect profile view (side view) of your head in order to get your sideburns or beard lined up perfectly... if you don't do it like this you will rarely get it perfect looking. Now use the straight blade to shape the edges of your goatee, beard and/or sideburns to look exactly how you want them... you'll be amazed by how nice the straight blade can make all of your lines look, this is why the best barber's always use these types of blades when they shave their customers... it makes for a very professional look. When you are finished, turn the water on cold and splash cold water all over the areas of your face that you've shaved, never use after shave because it will dry out your skin... even if it's the kind that says it won't. The cold water will close your pores and prevent any bumps from forming better than any after shave on the market. This last step is very important : Never, ever dry the cold water off of your face... allow it to air dry by itself, if you dry it yourself your skin will not soak up the amount of moisture that it needs. There you have it, the exact step-by-step process that I use to get a perfect shave every time... follow these instructions and it'll do the same for you. BTW, the straight blades are hard to find, I get mine at a local beauty supply store. If you don't have one within driving distance from where your live you can find them online... the one I use is made by a company called Fromm.
Expand your playing field
Always be on the lookout for women wherever you are, some of the most unusual places may just turn out to be the best in terms of places where you can find single women. Bars, clubs and parties will always guarantee that you will pick up a girl if you have enough game and try hard enough... but sometimes places like supermarkets, laundromats, parks and beaches can prove to be even easier places to be successful. Why? You have much less competition, sometimes none... plus women tend to go into "bitch mode" a lot faster when they are situations where they know that many men will be hitting on them... so it's much better to approach them in other situations where they will most likely have let their guard down. Some people may try to tell you that in certain places you simply can not pick up girls... but they are wrong. I can tell you from my own personal experiences that even though some places may be better than others... no areas are "off limits" or impossible, anyone who tells you differently probably just didn't have enough game when they tried. Experiment and try to approach girls everywhere you go, you may even get lucky and find a gold mine of hot babes with their defenses down ready to be pulled!
What makes an alpha
Girls are attract to alpha males, we all know this. It's built into them just like it is built into us to stare at a nice rack or ass... we simply can't help it, and neither can they. Right now I am about to explain the #1 thing that separates the alpha males from the rest of the pack... and no it is NOT confidence. You can have so much confidence that it seeps out of your ears but will still always be out done by someone that has this quality : Initiative. Initiative means that you are always first, and make sure of it. You are the first to make a move in all situations : You walk straight up to a girl and initiate a conversation with her instead of waiting for her to come to you, you never walk behind other people when walking in a group... you stay in the front, you are the first to go when participate in activities like sports, you always go for the first kiss without asking, you always make the first move towards sex and always lead the girl to the bedroom, you are always the one who drives when you go out with others. Get the idea? Many guys have confidence, but not all of them can be called true alpha males because they lack initiative... and that is the trait that defines a true alpha male. At all times you should guarantee that you have the initiative, especially when you are in the presence of the opposite sex... even fight for it if you have to.
R E S P E C T, find out what it means to me
Respect is very important. You can't hope to get girls to sleep with you if they don't respect you... and even if you manage to it will only be because they are using you for other purposes and feel that you will not give them what they want unless sex is involved. In turn you must also have a certain level of respect for the women in your life... but at the same time even more respect for yourself. It is human nature to view people without confidence as unworthy of respect, so it should be obvious that you will first need to have a degree of confidence in yourself before you can expect to gain the respect of a woman. You are a man, and you need to let girls know that, and show them that you will not tolerate any level of disrespect towards you... which can only be done if you first have the respect of your friends and family. This is because people tend to be led by example, and if you bring a girl out and a friend of yours comes along and she notices that he is showing you disrespect and thinks lower of you, she will most likely view this as ok and begin to do the same herself. People will ALWAYS take advantage of others if given even the slightest opportunity, so always keep your guard up and stand up for yourself in even the smallest
conflicts so you never fall into a situation in which people begin to show you disrespect... because one person doing it can quickly turn into ten in the blink of an eye.
Want a dime piece?
Do you know what a perfect 10 is? Is the best looking girl you've ever seen one? Maybe, but maybe not... because for a girl to be a dime piece they need to have more than just looks. I'm talking gorgeous, intelligent, trustworthy and down to earth... a QUALITY girl. That is what you really want right, a girl that is beautiful as well as secure in herself that will never cheat on you or embarrass you in front of people by making ditsy comments? Sure you do. However, if you want to attract a quality girl... you will need to be able to show them that you are a quality guy as well, and the most important step in becoming a quality guy is have a skill. You need to be good at something, and I'm not talking about your job, I'm talking about an interesting thing that you do and are good at that adds substance to your character and makes you seem like a more interesting and motivated person. Don't get me wrong, by using what you learn from this web site you can easily pick up hot girls, and even get a really beautiful as you girlfriend... but on looks alone a girl can only rank at about an 8, maybe a 9. If you really want to get a "dream girl" you've got to add that extra something to your life that makes you stand a step above all of the other guys that are good at getting girls... and that extra something is exactly what all of those perfect 10's are looking for. They want something more because they can literally pick any guy they want and have him, so it's only natural for them to try and find the best. You can choose any skill that you want, as long as it is something that is interesting and impressive... if you love music anything in that field works perfectly. You can also learn how to read palms, women absolutely love when a guy knows how to do that. Can you draw or paint fairly well? Being an artist is another great skill that women admire. Be creative and have fun, you don't even need to be the best at the skill you choose, as long as you become good enough to show the ladies that you are dedicated to it and actually enjoy it.
Your ultimate goal when you go out on a date with a girl is to get her back to your place, so before you go out to meet her or pick her up it is always a good idea to get your crib prepared for her to be there. Make sure to have everything clean and neat, vacuum your carpet, get all dirty dishes out of the sink, take the trash out if it is overflowing, put everything in it's proper place and by all means hide any porno that you have somewhere where she will NEVER come across it :) It's also a good idea to have a slow jams cd in your stereo so that you can put it on easily when the two of you arrive without having to fumble through your cd case and waste a bunch of good foreplay time. If you like old school stuff some good music to use is Marvin Gaye, New Edition or Teddy Pendergrass. If you like newer stuff then Jamie Foxx, 112 or Jagged Edge will get the job done nicely. You will also want to set up the lighting in your place before you leave in order to set an automatically cozy and sexual atmosphere the moment you walk in the door with her. The best way to do this is to have at least a few lamps in your crib that either fade to your liking or have pre-set low, medium and high settings. When you leave, put the lamps on the lowest possible setting so they only light up the immediate area around them without lighting up the entire room. The combination of the lights and music creates the perfect setting for things to go exactly the way you want them to, and you and her will be "bumpin' uglies" in no time.
In due time...
Greed is a bad thing, this we all know... and just as it is not good to get greedy when dealing with money, the same can be said for when you are dealing with women. Just like most skills that you can gain in life, you can't expect to get everything all at once... so in this case you can't assume that you will be able to go out and pull ANY girl right away. You need to start off slow and get some average girls before you can go ahead and get the perfect 10's, this will allow your skills the time they will need to properly develop. You can think of it as being similar to bodybuilding : If you train yourself hard for one week straight you will get a little bigger... but not much. However, if you continue training hard for another 6 months... you will get huge. Nothing worth having in life comes overnight, be patient and work hard... then you will have everything that you desire in due time.
Your social value
If you have been studying seduction material for a while chances are you've heard the term "Social Proof" before. The most simple way to describe social proof is that it is your "local fame" within your network of friends and/or acquaintances, otherwise referred to as your "circle". When you are trying to determine how much social proof you have, it is important to understand that it is NOT the amount of fame that you have, but rather the amount of fame that you have compared to the other people within your circle. Are you the leader or a follower? Do people favor your opinion over those of others? Are you the first person that people call when they want to find out what is going down during the weekend? Do you get a high level of respect from those around you? These are all questions that you
need to ask yourself to determine your overall social proof... and if you answered negatively to any of the above then you will need to do some work on improving your value within your circle. Men that have the most social proof within their group are always viewed as the most powerful, and women find that power to be very attractive. This is why men that are viewed of the leader typically have their pick of the women that are in the group as well as any new ones that are introduced in the future. Build up your social value and the women will automatically want you instead of any of your friends, and you will also gain a higher level of respect from everyone you encounter.
Ok, I'm assuming that you've already committed yourself to learning everything that this web site has to offer so that you will eventually know every single trick to picking up women... congratulations. However, now is the time when you need to recommit yourself to something totally different, and ultimately much more important : Using what you know! You may now know 1001 seduction techniques, but all of your studying will be in vain unless you make the conversion and turn them into seduction SKILLS. Simply knowing what you are doing is less than half of the battle, actually being able to do it is the hard part... and the only way to get to that point it by honing your skills with some good ol' fashioned practice. One of the most common mistakes that guys who come to this web site make is believing that they must learn EVERYTHING before they do ANYTHING, this is totally wrong. Have you ever heard the saying "Don't bite off more than you can chew"? It applies here. If you pack your head full of as much as you can and then try to use it, you will only succeed in confusing yourself and adding to your failure. You do not need to know everything in order to pick up one girl, if you choose one simple strategy that you like it will be all you'll need at first... then when you master that you can move on to others. If you practice in this fashion eventually you will know so much AND be good at it as well, that you will be able to switch up your technique at the drop of a dime if what you are doing seems to be not working. Baby steps my young players, baby steps.
The all-powerful mind
Do you have the problem of being shy around large groups of people, like when you go to a party or club? I had this same problem a while ago, I solved it by learning to "zone" in on particular people... like once I noticed a girl I liked, I would pretend that nobody else was around and then go up and talk to her, or if a girl came up to me i would immediately focus all of my attention on her and never look around at anyone else, this also helps you maintain good eye contact. If you feel much more comfortable around groups of people when you have a few of your close friends around you, but still have trouble with the initial starting up of conversations with girls, you can try this easy trick ; simply "pretend" that you've know the girl for a long time, as if you are already friends... that helps take the edge off of "talking to someone new" and can work wonders, give it a shot.
Keep your eyes open...
Watch how the guys that are getting all of the girls act, move, talk, walk, dress, and how they carry themselves. Try to copy all of the above, and add your own style into the mix! They must be doing something right, correct? So why not mimic what they do so your doing the right thing too? This web site teaches you how to do all of these things, but it really helps to see it in action... keep your eyes and mind open the next time you see that guy that the women flock to, because it'll step your game up a notch.
Always make sure that your outfit matches... I see guys every day that have no idea how much girls they are missing out on because of one simple fact : They have no idea how to dress! It all about the colors man, get the right and your game will be on point. Whatever you wear should match, from your hat to your shoes... and so should everything in between! I don't mean all ONE color, but rather two or maybe three colors that mesh nicely together.
Now for today's lesson...
Share Your Knowledge! Don't keep your friends in the dark from all the good stuff your learning here. When they ask you "How the hell are you pulling all of these girls all of a sudden?", tell them! You don't have to tell them about the web site if you don't want to... it can be your own secret weapon, but instead you can teach them. Show them what they are doing wrong and how you can help them fix it. This can actually work in your favor because if your friends all know how to get girls there will be more girls for you! Most hot girls have hot friends, and if your boy picks up a dime... she'll wanna bring a friend or two with her, and he can't handle them all himself. That's where you come in :)
Pay her no mind, she'll love you for it!
Hot woman are used to being showered with attention from men. It had been happening to them since they were infants : Age 0 - "Aww, she's soooo precious!", Age 4 - "She's just beautiful", Age 10 - "She's gonna be a hotty!", Age 18 - "Damn, she IS a hotty!". They have heard those things thier entire lives, and now that they have grown into women it's so programmed into thier minds that they barely even care when you walk up and say "Your beautiful". However, they DO care when you don't do that... and even act like they don't impress you at all. Treating beautiful women like they are flawed is the ONLY way to attract them.
Build up that confidence boy
Constantly tell yourself how attractive you are... how any woman would be blown away by you if you sat down and had a chat and they got to know you. Tell yourself these types of things every day for one month, then take a good look at yourself in the mirror and you will notice that you actually DO look much better than you think. This will also boost your confidence at an amazing rate.
"Girl, I bet you've never seen THIS before"
Be different from other guys... show those girls something they never saw before... wear colors most guys are scared of... be rare. Believe it or not, I can go out with a pink shirt on and pull girls left and right. Why? Because no other guys don't have the balls to do it... and having balls walks hand in hand with confidence, the #1 trait in men that women find attractive in men. Now don't take this the wrong way and get a mohawk or something stupid, just be creative... and be different.
What's up with your girl's sister, buddy?
Make as many friends as possible that are already involved in relationships, because they are always trying to hook their friends up with each other. This is a easy way to have the girls brought to YOU, without barely any action on your part. Using this strategy you don't even have to make a "perfect" first impression because your friends will have already given her the thumbs up.
Damn, I think that I forgot my...
After having a good date with a girl and you are back at her place, try to leave something behind that will remind her of you. Leaving a shirt behind is what I recommend, because it will probably smell like your cologne and the smell will make her think of you. This also gives you an excuse to see her again. When she calls to tell you that you've forgotten something, act like it is no big deal and say that you'll pick it up next time you get together.
56 seconds, 57, 58, 59... DONE
Ever have the problem of ejaculating too early while having sex? If so, try this little trick I've found to be very effective in stopping this embarrassing event from happening: While your having sex and you begin to feel like your about to become a one minute man, count silently from 1 to 100, and when you finish start back at 1 again. This effectively takes your mind off sex, which makes you not as aroused. For more tips and secrets like this one, have a look at Robert Irwin's Sexual Mastery, which contains recent scientific and clinical research that has revealed truly new and powerful information and techniques for increasing your (and your partner's) sexual performance and enjoyment.
Awww, he's so romantic!
After you go on a date with a woman you are very interested in, and if you feel that everything on your date went very well, send flowers to her workplace. Women love to show off when a guy they are dating does something romantic for them, and their work is the absolute best place for them to show off. Most women are either good friends or highly competitive with their female co-workers, which is a win-win situation for them when they receive a gift while at work. Chances are she will give you a call the moment she gets the flowers, try it.
Imported players :)
If you like to travel and want to go on an unforgettable trip, you may want to consider going to either Costa Rica or the Philippines. Americans are as good as gold in these two exotic locations, and you can literally sleep with four gorgeous native women each night if you wanted to. So when this next spring break comes around, forget about Cancun or Daytona and go have a REAL good time :)
Chin up, shoulder back, now strut!
Remember that not only women use body language to send signals to the opposite sex. You may be sending bad vibes to a woman while you are talking to her by your own body language, and you might not even know it! Make sure to keep this in mind while you are reading the Body Language Section of this website.
Clever ideas, don't you just love 'em
When you want to give a gift to a girl, try this little trick: Tape a note to the glovebox in your car that says "Open me" and put the gift inside (works well with a single rose). Don't say anything about it once you pick her up and you are riding along in the car, let her find it for herself. Remember to buy some rubbers while you are getting the rose, your gonna need them.
Here, eat this :)
Feed her chocolate! You might not know it, but chocolate is a mild aphrodisiac. This means that chocolate triggers emotions in our mind related to love and attraction. For instance, if a woman is thinking about you while she is eating a hershey's bar, she will feel more attracted to you than she normally would. With this in mind, try to feed her chocolate while you are with her. The best way to accomplish this is: Stop at a gas station to fill up on gas, and when you go inside to pay (don't use credit card outside) come back out with a candy bar and say "I thought you might like this, but if you don't want it I'll eat it".
Never Before Revealed, Proven Methods of Attracting Drop-Dead Gorgeous Women Through a Scientific System for Results, Regardless of Your Looks… That ANY
Ordinary Guy Can Use To Control His Sexual Destiny!
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