The attitude that attracts girls
One of the most important aspects of dating is to have a positive outlook on things and an attitude that attracts girls to you.
Women can sense instantly if you are going to be a boring and draining person to be around, and they’ll go to great lengths to avoid you if you’re this type of person.
Regardless of what’s happened to you in your life, you can still develop the habit of having what I call “positive expectancy”.
This simply means that you expect things to turn out well for you.
That plays a huge role in having the type of attitude that attracts girls, because ironically just by expecting things to go in your favor all of the time they actually will go your way much more often.
Here’s some examples of this state of mind:
When you meet a girl you assume that she’s going to like you, because who wouldn’t? You’re YOU!
When you take a girl out you know that she’ll have a great time, because she’s with YOU tonight.
This extends beyond yourself and your ego.
It’s also important to always assume the best about other people.
The funny thing is; if you see the best in people, they will tend to demonstrate the best kind of behavior when they are around you.
For me personally, this was a huge challenge to meet.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but I had dated so many girls and had so many relationship failures that I would go out on dates with a negative outlook on things.
I would say things to myself like:
“I might as well get her in bed tonight, because this probably isn’t going to last anyway.”
I realize that might sound a little extreme, but this was where I was at in my life.
I had been burned by so many past failures that I became jaded.
What I lacked back then was a positive outlook, which is the main ingredient in the type of attitude that attracts girls.
What I finally realized was that it was ME who was screwing up my my chances of getting women, not the girls.
Once I took a real honest look at my internal beliefs about life, people and myself, I began to notice a lot of conflicts in my mental make up.
You may or may not be able to identify with what I’m talking about.
What about you?
Do you have the same kind of problems with girls over and over again?
Do you find that there is an undesirable pattern in your dating life?
Most likely it’s because you have some limiting beliefs that are conflicting with your desires and your values.
Here’s an example:
Let’s say you have a desire that sounds something like this:
“I want to take two women home for a threesome.”
“I want to date and sleep with several girl simultaneously.”
Fair enough, I often date and sleep with several girls at once too.
Okay, now let me ask you a question.
Have you ever had a girl that you cared about a lot, and then you noticed that she was paying a lot of attention to another man?
Or, have you ever had a girl sleep with another man while she was also dating and sleeping with you?
If you answered yes, I’m just curious.
How did it feel when you found out?
Did you get that horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach and you were uneasy for days, weeks, or even months or years (especially if this was a wife, or a true love)?
Okay, so now you’ve got a conflict going on, because your conscious mind says that you want to enjoy several girls at the same time (I’m not talking about threesomes here, I’m just saying that you happen to be sleeping with multiple girls at various times).
On the other hand, your subconscious mind – the part of your mind that remembers everything that has ever happened to you, and that controls all of your involuntary body functions – remembers the pain that you experienced when YOU were on the receiving end of someone who was not monogamous.
Well, don’t you think that might cause some internal conflicts?
On one hand, you want one thing, but on the other hand you remember how much pain that situation caused you in the past.
So you will endlessly vacillate between those two desires.
You’ll prohibit yourself from having the type of attitude that attracts girls (positive) because you have undesired struggles (negative) within your state of mind, which is what controls and projects your attitude.
Note: having a positive attitude can impact many aspects of your life.
This type of internal struggle can be about literally anything, not just the scenario described above.
Knowing this, what can you do?
Well, you can do a LOT, but it takes a little bit of mental training.
So here we go:
Observe what kind of questions you are asking yourself about your partner, women you date and any other girls you meet.
This will become easy after a little bit of practice.
What I’m asking you to do is pay attention to what you’re saying to yourself inside your mind.
You see, you might be asking yourself things like:
“I wonder if she’s thinking bad things about me.”
“Does she really like me, or is she just pretending?”
“Why doesn’t she return my calls all of the time?”
“I wonder if she really wants to be with me or not.”
“Is she talking to any other guys behind my back?”
“Should I call her? I wonder why she’s not home.”
“I really hope she shows up for our date tonight.”
“Should I talk to her? She seems out of my league.”
“Are these girls just using me for some free drinks?”
“She’s so hot she probably already has a boyfriend”
“If I talk to her, will she think I’m not good looking?”
“If I get her into bed, will I be good enough at it?”
The list could go on forever.
All of those are prime examples of thoughts that will always stop you from having the attitude that attracts girls.
Your brain is just like a computer.
Any question you ask yourself, you will get an answer to. That’s your brain’s job.
If you were to ask yourself – “Why am I so fat?” – your brain would spit out a bunch of answers like:
“Because you eat too much fast food.”
“You’re just lazy and you don’t exercise.”
“Because you’re a loser and that’s it.”
Those kind of answers wouldn’t be very helpful would they?
But what if you asked yourself a better question like “How can I lose 10 pounds?”
Your brain would start giving you answers to that question instead.
Just like with a search engine, the answers you get will be vastly different depending upon the WAY you ask your question even though your reason for asking that question – and the main concept – are essentially the same.
Don’t believe me? Go ahead and Google those two questions, I’ll wait.
Notice how the results are entirely different even though it’s basically the same question?
The difference is that in the first instance it is asked in a negative manner and the second time in a positive way.
That’s the difference between a winning and a losing outlook.
It’s the difference between an attitude that attracts girls and one that doesn’t.
But it doesn’t stop there.
How do you think we could modify that question to make get our brain to give us even more potent and powerful answers?
Here’s some examples:
“How can I lose 10 pounds within 2 months?”
Now you’re adding the element of a deadline to the question, which will give you a completely different answer.
“How can I lose 10 pounds within 2 months and really have FUN doing it?”
That’s a great question, and you will get an even better answer because your brain will be looking for ways to lose the weight that are fun and only give you those answers.
So I hope you’re starting to see just how powerful your brain really is.
But remember, YOU are the one who’s in control of it.
The way you control it is by controlling the questions that you ask yourself on a regular basis.
You see – you probably don’t even realize it yet – but you are ALWAYS asking and answering questions in your mind.
It’s just that you are doing it automatically and you’re not consciously aware of it.
It’s kind of like driving a car:
When you’re first learning, you have to consciously pay attention to everything that you’re doing.
However the more you practice driving, and the more competent you get, the more those individual actions of driving (like checking the mirrors, shifting gears, knowing how much pressure to apply to the brakes) get put on your subconscious autopilot system.
That’s what you want to happen here too, but first you’ve got to change the questions that you’re asking yourself habitually when it comes to girls and dating.
So let’s try a fun exercise.
To begin, let’s pick a question that many guys ask themselves at one point in their lives:
“Why can’t I get those really hot girls to be interested in me?”
Well, if you ask yourself that question you’re going to get some really lousy answers.
Your brain is just a computer and it’s job is to give you answers to the exact question you asked it.
In this case, that would be all the reasons why you aren’t good enough for the hottest girls.
How about just changing the first two words in that question and asking yourself:
“How can I get those really hot girls to be interested in me?”
Now your brain will be conjuring ways for you to improve yourself so you can succeed instead of telling you all of the ways that you suck.
What a difference two simple words can make, right?
Being a guy with the attitude that attracts girls is basically as simple as that.
Do yourself a huge favor and start paying close attention to the questions that you ask yourself when it comes to girls and dating.
You might not think that you ask yourself questions like I mentioned above, and I can answer that statement like this:
Have you seen a type of car that you REALLY wanted?
Maybe you even went out and bought it, who knows.
But when you thought about that car, it’s like you could actually picture yourself driving in it.
Then something strange happened.
As you went through your day, you began to notice that very same car EVERYWHERE.
You saw it on the highway, at the mall, at your college, everywhere.
Because your mind was now conditioned to pay attention to and notice that car whenever you saw one.
The same thing applies to the questions that you ask yourself.
If you tell your brain to notice the questions that you ask yourself around girls, you WILL start to notice them all.
Once you do that, you’ll have developed the type of attitude that attracts girls.
This article is just the tips of the iceberg when it comes to what you’ll learn from reading my latest book, Simple Seducer.
If you’re serious about stepping your game up, then go read it today!
By Sebastian Steele