Too many guys go for the template of a pattern just because it's established and expected. It doesn't have to be that way - YOU can control your reality, you should do what's going to make you happy. The options are more open than you know.
Welcome to the new view, Grasshopper
Alright, if you've been reading carefully up to now, you have a solid understanding of the basics for becoming attractive to the women you want. Congratulations.
You're starting to get a solid understanding of the three pillars - playful confidence, social status/value, and non-verbal cuing. There's plenty left to learn, but you have enough knowledge to really work on your attitude and internalize the important aspects of attraction.
Again, congratulations.
However, before we go any further, I have a VERY important question: what are you going to do with this?
"Uh, get laid, Beavith." Come on, you can do better than that.
What kind of dating life do YOU want?
MOST of the men in the world choose one of two paths: straight-up monogamous relationships, or a series of meaningless physical conquests.
But is that what you REALLY want? Or do you place yourself in one of these categories because that's the way our social world is currently organized?
If you've thought about what you want to get out of your romantic life and you've decided on one of these paths, great. Nothing wrong with that.
But be honest - isn't it because you haven't seen any other realistic choices?
The two choices most guys think are the only choices.
Our world places the long-term meaningful relationship as the top of the pyramid, the thing we all should aim for with the thought of eventually finding a girl to marry. Don't get me wrong - nothing can replace the spiritual and emotional connection of a serious relationship.
But plenty of guys aim for serious steady relationships more because they finally GOT a girl, and they're scared of being lonely again.
But a number of guys don't want to DO that - at least not yet - and instead want SEX. And lots of it. And the excitement of the chase, of flirting. The problem with this is, even if you're the master player and can get a girl anytime you want, you never really have a chance to experience the deeper emotions. Just get your rocks off.
Most guys eventually get as bored of this life as you would dating a nun.
Ok, it's a completely different kind of boredom. But you usually wind up seeing a wide variety of party girls, and the night after the morning you get this awful empty feeling. So you go find the next girl to fill that void, but you wind up just making it deeper and more painful.
And that guy often winds up getting REALLY lonely and searching out a long-term relationship - but he lacks the relationship experience and so thus is a poor judge of what he'll need in a more serious mate. He either tries to convert a party girl or he scattershots the rest of the population, getting poor mates as often as good ones.
What if there were other ways?
A fuller menu
Let's take a moment now and run down all SORTS of different ways of dating that are ACTUALLY available.
Monogamous Man.
As mentioned before, this is a GREAT way to get all the good things that pair-bonding brings. However, you also greatly reduce your experience; instead of being out and dating lots of women and finding out what all sorts of different types there are - and how they fit with you - M Man gets stuck in looooong relationships. They usually go a month or two too long, the girl is usually the one doing the dumping ("I just need some space to think about things.") and there is a tendency to stick with sub-standard situations due to the lonely fear factor.
Oh, and unfortunately, rarely does a monogamous relationship stay that way. Pain all around.
The Player.
You have plenty of sex with plenty of women, but never more than a few sessions with any one. Great way to hone your attraction skills and see what's out there - in fact, in the beginning of your dating life, being a player is a nice start so you can gain experience. However, you lose out on the deeper emotions and rare is the man who is fulfilled by a lifetime of playing.
Multiple Primaries Guy.
You have long-terrm relationships, but you aren't monogamous. Some guys do this while pretending to be M Man, but it works best if you're up front about it. (Avoid all the deception and eventual pain when you're found out. There are girls who will comb your cell when you're in the bathroom. Beware.)
Most guys don't think is a realistic possibility, but you'd be surprised. If a woman is attracted to you and you're honest about your lifestyle, she'll usually adapt to your reality. There may be numerous brush fires to put out, but you can avoid a lot of that by having girls who like EACH OTHER and are into SHARING you. Bisexual ladies welcome. Threesomes welcome.
A Primary with Secondaries Dude.
Here you have one serious relationship, but you also have some other girls for fun (either steady sex friends or random pick-ups). Again, your lady knows about the other women, but she accepts them as part of being with you. And you are emotionally faithful to your main gal. You can even bring her in on the fun - picking up women as a couple is easier than you think, and often easier than doing it on your own. And it can be a lot of fun.
You also are playing a dangerous game, because should you ever start to bond with one of your sex friends, your main lady is gonna be pissed. It's a LOT harder to go from Primary and Secondaries Dude to Multiple Primaries Guy than vice-versa. Your lady is going to feel betrayed and, worse, demoted.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
Harem Harry.
Now you are just having some serious fun. Any combination of primaries and secondaries, with everyone aware of everyone else and often playing with each other. You are the center of a sexual universe.
As long as the girls know what they're getting into from the start, you won't have too many problems. Oh, you'll still have problems - every relationship has problems - and occasionally they'll seem huge just because you have so MANY relationships to keep healthy.
Still, you can avoid most the Glenn-Close-with-a-knife problems since you are emotionally connected but still emotionally free. Free love man. Ain't it great? (As a note, sometimes harems have more than one "Harry" with the guys sharing the ladies.) It's not unheard of for a MP Guy or a PwS Dude to become a Harem Harry. Players make the transition as well.
Swinging Stud.
Now you've got one main lady, but you attend parties or clubs looking to swap with others or get involved in orgies. This can also take the form of finding a third for a threesome while out and about.
Now, that's a LOT more possibilities than you thought were out there. They all have advantages and drawbacks, and you should choose a goal that works for you. BUT, you should establish the GOAL first and create the attitude and reality that works with it. Because it's MUCH harder to change a relationship mid-stream than to have things clear from the beginning (not that it can't be done).
You can change your goals as you yourself change.
Of course you're not locked in to any one way. Maybe you start as a player, find a great girl and stop going out with anyone but. Or maybe you build a Harem but get bored with the sex that is nothing more than physical, and so pick out a few girls as multiple primaries. Or you end a monogamous relationship date a number of women - all secondaries - until one separates herself from the pack and you pair-bond with her, but keep the rest around for fun.
Or maybe you have a gal you love as much as anything, but you want to spice up your life with a little swinging. So you take her to a club, she watches the openness of the people there, and you slowly transition from an observing pair to a participating one.
The permutations are endless, so don't think TOO hard about this. You can always change your goals later. But you should establish the GOAL you have RIGHT NOW before you go out.
And you should do it because YOU want to, not because it's what you think the world expects.
If you want to learn even more about the keys to turning yourself into the kind of man that women want, then you'll want to check out my Seduction Science System. It's jam packed with all the info you need to take your seduction skills to the next level.
Enjoy.
Regards,
Derek Vitalio
Author : Seduction Science
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