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How To Date a Younger Woman
by Matthew Whiting
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First, let's get something straight. There is absolutely nothing
wrong with wanting to date younger women.
In fact, it's very common. And why not? Women date younger and
older men all the time. (That is, unless the woman is not old
enough to date you. In that case, you should leave her alone or
risk legal sanctions, and no one is worth that!)
Women are actually very attracted to older men, usually because
they perceive them to be more stable, put-together, and wise in the
ways of the world and love. In fact, many studies suggest that the
average woman matures faster than the average man, so why wouldn't
a woman want to date an older man?
For some reason, there seems to be a "taboo" in society, at least a
mild one, about men dating women who are much younger than them.
And there is a very open taboo about women dating younger men!
Just look at the reaction to the liaison between Demi Moore and
Ashton Kutcher.
Yet there are plenty of advantages to dating younger women.
Younger women infuse a relationship with energy and a fresh outlook
on life. Let's face it: as you get older, you need a little pep
and zest in your life to keep you going. You don't want to be one
of those guys who are attached to the TV all day because they have
no life. A younger woman will infuse you with a zest for life that
is healthy and will keep you active later in life.
Long-term relationships are possible, even despite a huge age
difference. So, considering this, what should you look for in a
younger woman?
First, you should look for a woman with whom you share some common
interests. Sometimes the generational differences can be too
great. Maybe you came of age in the sixties, she came of age in
the eighties, and neither of you can get into one another's music.
Maybe she's addicted to text messaging while you're still
old-fashioned enough to want to use the phone. You have to
consider whether or not there's the potential there for a long-term
relationship, if that's what you want.
On the other hand, many young women are open-minded and will be
excited to learn what you can offer with your greater experience
and knowledge of events that happened before she was born. Make
sure that you demonstrate an equal interest in the things she knows
about (like technology, pop culture, etc). When you can both share
your interests and learn from one another, then chances are good
that you'll keep growing together.
Second, you should make sure that she isn't just looking for a
father figure. This is a biggie. Some younger women have bad
relationships with their fathers and are looking for an older man
to be like a father to them. They may ask you for money, expect you
to pay every time, and are simply looking for someone to protect
them. These women aren't looking for an equal partner; they are
looking for someone to replace the gap left in their lives by their
father.
This is not the kind of relationship you should want. Frankly, if
all they want is your money and material security, then you can do
better.
Instead you should look for women who are looking for an older man
romantically. A woman should love you for who you are, not what you
can give them.
Third, you need to make sure that she is open to dating an older
man and aware of the many challenges that the two of you may face.
Although dating a younger woman can be done, it isn't always the
easiest thing in the world. People may talk about you and your
relationship. Her parents, friends, or siblings might disapprove.
She may find it difficult to hang out with your older friends,
while you may find her younger friends to be too vacuous or think,
"Been there, done that." You may find that you're both in
different stages of life and that your goals are too different to
make a long-term union possible. You need to stay open and
communicate about the challenges in your relationship. If the age
difference ends up embarrassing her (or embarrassing you), then end
it and move on. You should both admire and respect one another.
That said, how do you go about dating a young woman once she meets
the above qualifications?
First and foremost, you have to act natural. Don't get caught up
in numbers or the fact that you are 5, 10 or even 20 years older
than your partner. If you are attracted to someone, you should go
for it (as long as she's over legal age). Don't feel awkward and
embarrassed around her younger friends, or when she talks about
things that you're unfamiliar with because of your generational
differences.
Accept that you have a different role to play, and don't feel
pressured to act "younger." Just because you are dating a younger
woman doesn't mean you should start changing the way you dress, eat
or play or what movies you watch. Any sudden change and everybody
is going to notice. The change will make it obvious that you are
self-conscious about the age gap between you and your partner and
are trying too hard to minimize it.
Now, during the course of a relationship with a younger woman, some
of these things may change. You might want to change the types of
shirts you wear, or the type of glasses you wear. Just don't make
all the changes too dramatic and make sure they fit your character
rather than the person you are with. You want to make sure that you
remain the person she fell for. She found you attractive the way
you were when she met you, so don't feel as if you have to change
who you are.
Next, you should always consider a little teasing and a lot of
flirting. Young women love to flirt, and they love to be teased.
Go ahead and tell her you're over the hill, or how immature she is.
Make light of the situation. Keep things light and funny. Diffuse
any awkwardness with laughter.
Lastly, you should always keep the lines of communication open. The
age difference can sometimes includes differences in perception
about role expectations and attitudes to certain issues. There may
be an expectation for you to take the lead. Many younger women are
looking for direction. No matter what, you should discuss your
expectations with her: she may want to have a child, and you may
feel as if you're past the age that you want to be a father. Talk
as much as possible so that neither of you misunderstand or have to
guess what the other means.
My last point is that you should remember to take things slowly.
She may wonder what your real intentions are, since many older men
are after the status and image of having a younger woman on their
arm. By taking it slowly, you reassure her that you really want to
get to know HER. When you ease into a relationship with a younger
woman, the people around you will realize that you are in the
relationship because you've already found out how compatible you
are and how much you enjoy one another's company. No one will be
able to claim that you just jumped into things without thinking.
Matthew Whiting is a professional writer specializing in dating and
relationship advice. He has extensive experience in training men
to maximize their seduction potential and ability to interact with
women successfully. He is considered by many to be an expert in
his field with his frank and forthright approach. He is best known
for his work in "How to Be Irresistible to Women," which is part of
the 000Relationships network.
His product is a compilation of 7 life-changing e-books, a complete
16-part audio course, and a host of exclusive Members Articles. The
"How to Be Irresistible to Women" package offers single men a
dynamic and comprehensive tool-kit to attract women and establish
an honest and supportive relationship. You can learn more about how
to attract the woman of your dreams at:
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