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What Is It Really That Turns Us On?
by Destini9
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CONFIDENCE, SEXUAL INTIMIDATION, & THE ALPHA MALE:
WHAT IS IT REALLY THAT TURNS US ON?
Most every guy who gets a hold of this 'Speed Seduction' or Don Juan info does so for one primary reason: to compensate for something he lacks, be it an abundace of sexual opportunity, need to feel powerful and in control, or, mostly that need for confidence. Because he does, he immediately buys into a misperception bourne of a misperception, which is what SeducingWomen101.Com will help clarify. The misperception is that "Chicks dig guys with confidence" therefore if the guy can up his self esteem and confidence levels, he'll have chicks all over the place. What they don't understand, and that is always in their ways, is that women aren't responding to the confidence at all and never were, no matter how clearly they tell you "I was attracted to your confidence". Confidence is a conscious label attached to a perception of something we sense beneath the surface but cannot quite fathom. Superficially, "confidence" is appealing in anyone because nobody likes to see whiney, weak willed, sniveling saps who suck the life from other people. But it has little to do with getting laid.
What guys refer to as "alpha male" is absolutely based in core genetic programming and is merely the presence of dominance that women, by the fact they're women, cannot help but be drawn to. Plenty of guys who are supremely confident and good looking still can't get laid on even their best days. And plenty of not so hot looking guys with issues and hangups still get laid all the time. Regardless of looks OR confidence. If guys can understand that it's not confidence at all but a natural maleness, then they're aligning with Mother Nature, which will only benefit them in the "Scoring" department.
That presence of natural 'maleness' is what we call Dominance, as it depicts an essence of inherant strength and ability found only in the masculine half of the polarity required for mating. It is this natural embodiment of maleness that compels the feminine attraction, and vice versa - the more female a female is, the more guys fall all over themselves to get to her. It's subconscious compulsion - it is how we are programmed to know the difference in "mates" so that when it's time to mate, we can do so and not completely malfunction the species.
It is this mis understood "radar" that women who end up with the "strutting, abusive alpha males" are compelled by. They see the male exuding this natural dominance, natural maleness - because abusers seldom, if ever, display any feminine characteristics at all (i.e. heart, caring, compassion, nurturing)...and women who have compensation issues will inevitably be drawn to these people for the required polarity integration. There is much more behind this natrual attraction, and not intended for this discussion other than to point out that if there is an attraction present at all toward another person, it's there because of genetic programming and not because of something external in another person.
Further, natural attraction is not what motivates men and women to have sex. Sexual compulsion motivates them to have sex. If there is no natural attraction, there will never be any sexual compulsion. It's the reason a very masculine male cannot be attracted to a masculine female, but why a very effeminate male will be compelled to her against everything that's Holy. He's still responding to the genetic, subconscious compulsion of "proper suitor for mating" - balancing this polarity. It's not even about muscles and rolling abs. It's a natural radar that's programmed to seek out its opposite.
This polarity issue is THE core reason beneath our attraction to anyone. Likes cannot mate with likes, two females cannot create life nor perpetuate the species. Nor can two males. We're programmed to recognize and be compelled to the opposites. This is encoded into us and we cannot change it. It's the reason ultra feminine women do not find effeminate males *sexually* compelling at all - we require a balance of this male/female polarity for the sole purpose of mating and evolution. We subconsciously recognize proper suitors as being the polar opposite of who and what we are. The active/masculine and passive/feminine polarity is required for mating, creating, sustaining, perpetuating and evolving life. We were all designed to recognize our proper opposites. This is also at the core of why we are attracted to some people and not to others.
The intimidation issue, especially the sexual intimidation issue is a classic, classic depiction of the above compulsion...but we still decode those desires and urges into conscious thoughts and knowings based on our individual self experiences. When we do not understand something - especially a powerful attraction to another person of off sight alone - we feel instinctively threatened by it, and will either "fight or flight". Those people who are confident will be able to fight, to immediately proceed to try to understand it, harness it, apprehend the fear, rationalize and even try to degrade it in order to remove the threat. Other people will just bail. Those people lack the confidence needed to follow through on a natural attraction. The fear is so overwhelming and confounding that their instinct is RUN! or DON'T! They won't behave the same as other people less threatened would...they're immobilized or they play it off as no big deal, but they're scared of it.
The sexuality issue goes straight back to the presence of the urge to find a mate...and the more sexual you are by your presence, the more people who lack it will be drawn to it - they're compelled to it. The more sexual and feminine a woman is, the more she naturally projects that ultimate essence of woman that ALL masculine men cannot help but be attracted to. Has nothing to do with the female herself. The more sexual and dominant a man is, the more he naturally projects the essence of man that ALL feminine women cannot help but be drawn to, regardless of the guy's character or personality. It's not a personality type like "submissive or dominant". This is core essence of Man and Woman.
This is why looks don't have squat to do with it. Your level of confidence is irrelevant. It's that you have personally evolved your own natural maleness, so that it emanates from you like a radar to women everywhere...women might think you're an ugly, but confident bonehead, and still cannot really understand why, bonehead or not, they'd do you in 0.1 second. It's not a conscious responce to you. It's completely subconscious compulsion. The attraction is naturally compelled and it's not going anywhere, regardless of what kind of person you turn out to be.
Whether or not the woman makes the choice to follow through on this attraction and have sex with you remains to be seen. If she's already attracted naturally, then you have no use for SS nonsense because she's already receptive. No need to brainwash her to get her panties off. If she is not attracted naturally, then she is naturally the opposite: resistant, which means it is absolutely impossible for you to alter her mind in any manner. If she feels no attraction to you, there's a reason for it that's all a part of genetic coding - quite simply, your natural radar is too much like her own so there is no polarity, therefore no attraction, and there is nothing you can do to change it.
The idea of an "alpha male" is just that: an idea. It's a cultural label you Don Juans and Players have attached to a perception of this "maleness" that was fed to you as a sense, an image, a feeling, from the Unconscious. And the guys who go around strutting and calling themselves "alpha men" are just ego dancing with the "conscious label" and not actually emanating the "maleness" itself - and the vast majority don't really grasp WHY they even respond to the idea of an "alpha male" to begin with, why it produces the feelings it produces - which is: because they still lack the full natural maleness/dominance integrated within themselves, and therefore need to "obtain it" and balance that polarity. They mistake this lack of balance for needing confidence because "chicks dig confidence" and needing to be the "alpha males" because "chicks like it when you control them". They presume "getting laid" is the end result.
The end result was always their integration.
Moral of the story? If you want women naturally, sexually compelled to you, work on recognizing your inherant maleness and displaying it naturally in all that you do. The less natural feminine qualities and characteristics you send off, the more ultra feminine women will be naturally drawn to you, whether you're confident and built, or just an average Joe too shy to work it off your own mettle. Once you can get the natural attraction on your side, sexual compulsion is but a short step away - provided you don't screw it up.
This article was written by Destini9, proprieter of SeducingWomen101.com. If you wanna know how to really seduce a woman... ask a woman!
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