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Today's topic is State Control.
In case you're not familiar with it, let me do a simple breakdown on what it is, and how it can affect your game. I also want to walk you through a case study of a guy who had trouble with it, and how we fixed it.
By "state" I mean your mental state. Sometimes you're in a high state, that means you're in a good mood. Sometimes you're in a low state. That's when you're feeling down, nervous, or lethargic.
Did you ever have one of those nights where everything was working? You approach women, and they all seem interested. You get lots of eye contact, make-outs, you even get away with making mistakes that would normally kill your game. That's probably because your state was good.
When you're feeling good, the people around you can tell, and start feeling good too. All of this is communicated through subtle cues in our physiology. It also is communicated by our tone of voice, and how we react to the people around us.
Lots of guys have inconsistent game. They have some good nights and some bad nights. But what's really going on? What is different from night to night?
Sometimes it's the mood of the women. For example, when it's raining out, they are in a worse mood than when it's been sunny all day.
But usually, it's just your state that is different.
Case Study
A few months ago, I did a one on one training with a guy we'll call Craig. It was his first day out approaching women, and wow, he had an amazing day.
As we began, he told me that he hadn't really studied up much, and had never done cold approaches before, so I figured we'd have to go over some simple beginner stuff.
I did a few demonstration approaches for him to watch. He watched closely and carefully, and I could tell something just "clicked" when he watched me do my approaches.
Then I had him try a few, and he did fairly well, but he looked a little nervous. I asked if he was having some approach anxiety, and he said he was. So I had him stop approaching and we did the exercises from my "How to Beat Approach Anxiety" system, which you can check out here- http://www.bradp.com/how-to-beat-approach-anxiety
He did very well on these exercises, scoring 116. That's a very high score for someone who's new at this. I figured he was just a naturally outgoing kind of guy, and that was why he did so well.
So we went back to approaching.
It was daytime, and we were approaching women in a mall. Craig had been transformed from an average guy with a touch of approach anxiety into a one man wrecking crew!
It was incredible.
He took phone number after phone number, until I just had to stop him because it was getting redundant. "OK, I think you got it. Let's cut the approaches and get to your makeover before the stores all close."
We spend about 2 hours re-doing his look, and then this amazing woman walked by.
Craig had a thing for Asian women, and this girl was probably the hottest Asian girl I had ever seen. She strutted by with her friend in some thigh high boots and short shorts, and Craig and I just looked at each other.
"Hmm, maybe one more?" I said.
"Hell yeah!" he replied.
Craig delivered the horsegirl opener, from my Instant Attraction book. The girl w as eating out of his hand within seconds. Her attraction level was through the roof! After about 15 minutes, he took her number, and we were on our way out of there.
I figured if this guy just stuck with the program I had given him at the one on one, he would be amazing at pickup within a month or 2. I told him he should do the exercises from my system every time he goes out.
Why?
Because there's a side effect to this system that I discovered when I was already finished designing it.
The first time I gave my "How to Beat Approach Anxiety" seminar, the students told me at the end that they felt the 18 exercises were the most amazing state-builder they had ever experienced. Although this was not the goal of my design, it was certainly a positive side effect.
Since that time, the 18 exercises have been used all over the world for state building and state control. There's a group of guys in Australia that meet up every weekend just to do the 18 exercises. It has really taken off.
I knew this, so I told Craig to keep doing them, and that Rome wasn't built in a day.
But Craig emailed me a few weeks later saying that he was "sliding backwards." He would go out and do 5-7 approaches and he wouldn't even get one number.
He booked a phone consultation and I asked him all sorts of questions to determine what the problem was. It turns out, he was going straight to his approaches without doing his "How To Beat Approach Anxiety" exercises. So his state was bad every time, and women could tell. They did not find him attractive because they did not like the mood he was in. It was bringing them down.
Some women say they're after love, some say they're after money, some even say they're after sex.
What they're all really after is a certain mental state.
Love can make you feel secure and relaxed. Money can make you feel comfortable and elite. Sex can make you feel happy and content. What women really are looking for is the states that come along with these things.
That's why they are so sensitive to a guy's state when he approaches. If the guy has a good state, this goes a long way toward making her feel attraction and exhilaration.
I'm not going to tell you there's some magic way to get yourself into state, but it can be done if you're willing to pay the price.
In this case, the price is 35 minutes of your time. That's about how long it takes to do the exercises from "How To Beat Approach Anxiety." If you don't already have this seminar, you should pick it up ASAP.
Here are a few more little tricks you can use to improve your state. These are the things to use when you feel your state sinking just a little bit at the beginning or the middle of the night. It won't make a massive differences like the 18 exercises from"How To Beat Approach Anxiety" but it can help you turn the tide and start feeling better.
Tip #1
Stand up straight and walk tall.
Tip #2
Tap your feet to the music and dance just a little bit.
Tip #3
Go on to the dance floor, close your eyes, and just dance for 3-5 minutes.
You'll feel a bit better after doing these things, because there is a relationship between what your body does and how your brain feels.
Your brain and your body are constantly sending each other signals. This is called "biofeedback."
When you stand up straight, walk tall, and entrain yourself with music, it sends a signal to your brain that says "I feel good, I feel confident." Even if you don't feel good at that time, your body will send signals that you do, and this will improve your state.
I hope you're able to put this stuff to good use soon!
Take care,
Brad P.
Instant Attraction
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