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You know, I really enjoy getting email
from my customers. Some of them have
truly inspiring stories of success that
make me feel really good that I could be
a part of it.
However, occasionally, I do get a few emails
from people who just aren't up to the task of
getting their life in order.
Recently, I got an email from a guy who had
bought my Art of Approaching book which I
found quite disappointing, and I want to
share it with you all.
***An Email From A Man In Crisis***
Hi Joe,
I can't do this. It's too hard. I know every
woman is going to point and laugh at me. I
think I'll renounce chatting up women and
become a monk instead maybe it'll be easier
walking up to sexy nuns. Thank you for your help
--A Beaten Man
***My Response***
I want you to read those words above carefully.
These are the words of a man who's admitted
defeat. They're the words of a man who has
given up. To him, his efforts were met with
failure, and he'd rather quit completely than
deal with failure again.
This kind of email saddens me. It truly does.
I wrote The Art of Approaching because I want
to help others as I help myself. And when I
see guys give up like this, I can't help
but feel bad for them.
But my feelings don't stop with pity. They
stop with anger.
Anger that there are people out there who have
lost the will to fight for what they want.
Anger that that people have accepted
loss and hopelessness as a way of life.
Most men don't want to fight for what they
believe in. It's too hard, and they're
conditioned to losing.
It's been beaten into them that there is no
hope of winning, so they might as well give up.
I don't believe that.
I believe in winning, and my goal in my writings
is to remind guys guys like these what kind of
power they still have. That it IS possible to win.
That Failure not only isn't an option, it doesn't
exist at all.
There are certain things in this world that we
see as real, but don't really exist.
For instance, thoughts.
Thoughts don't really exist. We can't hold them in
our hands and play with them. Feelings are the same
way, as are abstract concepts like "right and wrong"
or "good and evil." None of this stuff is solid, or
tangible. It's all created in your mind.
Failure is the same thing.
When you fail, you perceive the outcome of an
action as something different than what you
desired, and the feeling that is evoked
from that outcome is one of pain and loss.
When these feelings of pain and loss cause you
give up ever trying to get that desired
outcome again, that is what's called "failure."
There's a finality to the word "failure." As
if, when it happens, that's it. Game over.
Do not pass GO, do not collect $200. You
have no hope of achieving what you set out
to do.
But the thing is, you can ALWAYS achieve what
you set out to do. Maybe not right away, but
later on.
The key to success is PERSERVERENCE. As long
as that is in place, failure does not exist,
merely setbacks.
If an army gave up after one defeat, there would
be no war. There would only be "battles" and
"skirmishes." You have to look at achievement
of your goals as more than just individual
accomplishments or failures. There's a bigger
picture you have to be aware of.
What's your goal?
If it's to find a beautiful woman and marry
her and raise a family together, then getting
rejected after approaching one woman you're
attracted to does not mean that goal is beyond
your reach.
In the first century BC, there was a king by
the name of Mithridates Eupator VI, who was
considered one of Rome's greatest enemies.
He successfully defended his kingdom against
the Romans for forty years, in an unending war.
Each time Rome declared victory, Mithridates
considered it merely a strategic retreat, and
soon came roaring back with a more powerful
army than before.
Every time Mithridates was served with a loss,
he did not declare "Failure" and pack up.
He looked at what happened, what he did
wrong, and learned from it, not to make the
same mistake again.
He had a goal: To protect his kingdom from
the Roman invaders, and nothing was going to
stop him from doing so.
You need to have the mentality of Mithridates
when it comes to getting women. You can't look
at little rejections and setbacks as failures.
Rather, they're learning experiences. Failure must
cease to exist in your reality. There is only
victory, and learning experiences.
When you achieve this, you will never lose your
will to fight, and you will have tasted for the
first time what it's like to win.
In my book, The Art of Approaching, I go
through specific strategies to help men
overcome their fears of failure and
rejection.
I give step-by-step instructions on what you
need to do to wipe out any sense of failure
from your love life, so that anyone, even the
poor guy who wrote in above, can turn their lives
around! Check out my book by clicking below:
Check Out The Art Of Approaching Now!
You'll see just how easy it can be to never
fail again.
Wishing you success with women,
Joseph Matthews
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