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Conversation Starters
by Matthew Whiting
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She's standing at the door, dressed in a little black dress that makes you want to stare at parts you shouldn't. You've got the first ten minutes covered--introducing yourself, getting into the car, driving to the restaurant or café or other venue, finding a place to sit. Then you find yourself sitting across from her. She looks at you with that blank expression that tells you nothing at all. Your palms start to sweat. You wonder if you remember to put on cologne, or if you checked for anything in your teeth before you left the house. The silence grows longer. You wish the waiter would come for your order. A quick sigh tells you that she's getting bored. You curse to yourself. At the next table you catch a glimpse of a couple laughing; the guy is telling a story, and she is leaning forward to catch every word. That guy could be you ... if you only knew what to say.
Don't get caught without conversation starters on a first date! The guys who can wow a woman from the moment they meet her all know a secret: women love funny, relaxed, attentive guys who want to hear all about them. There is nothing that a woman finds more flattering than to be asked about her opinions, feelings, and life experiences.
So when you find yourself in a situation where the silence starts to grow, ask a question! What do you want to know about this woman? I will warn you right now: she'll notice immediately if you're not really interested in her response. If you want to get to know a woman better, you need to show how interested you are in her. Better yet, when she shares her accomplishments and hobbies, you will find yourself in a perfect situation to compliment her ... and complimenting a woman will suddenly make you much more attractive in her eyes. The least attractive guy in the world can find himself swarmed with women if he simply does two things: appreciates them and lets them know it.
When you're on a first date, remember the following tips.
1.
Keep all conversation positive. Never bring up negative things, like how hard your life is right now, how you've been seeking for a job for months, or how complicated things are with your parents. Avoid controversial subjects until you get to know the person better.
2.
Relax! Women can sense fear and nervousness, even if you think you're hiding it well. When you are nervous, you often speak faster, and you may appear more serious or intense than you usually are. You may want to try watching a comedy, reading cartoons, or doing whatever makes you double over in uncontrollable laughter before your date. Laughing will relax all your muscles, send good feelings to your brain, and get your blood pumping. You'll meet her with a great big smile on your face--and she'll respond.
3.
When she is talking, lean forward, look into her eyes (not down at her chest), and respond to what she says. If you agree, smile and nod. If she's talking about something serious, take it seriously. DO NOT lean back in your chair and look around the restaurant as she talks. DO NOT stare at her so intensely that she feels uncomfortable. Give her the space to look back at you by occupying yourself with your plate of food, or by gazing at a spot on the tablecloth while you focus on listening to her.
4.
Don't ask the same old questions, as if you're going through a checklist. Everyone gets asked what they do or where they're from. Try some questions that she's never been asked before. If you can, focus the question on something that you've noticed about her specifically. For example, if she walks particularly gracefully, you might ask her if she's been a dancer. Not only will she feel flattered, but the question will give her the opportunity to talk about whether she likes dancing ... which might lead to an invitation for a second date later on in the night.
Here are some other conversation starters that you might wish to ask. If any of these questions seem to strike a nerve, quickly move on. NEVER push an issue. You might sense that there is more to a topic than she wants to tell you at this point, and that's okay. The point is to make her feel comfortable and open up to you, NOT to make her feel uncomfortable and tense.
Conversation Starter #1:
"Do you have a pet? What's your favorite kind of pet?"
This should start up a lively conversation, because people LOVE their pets and love talking about them. If she doesn't have a pet, you might wish to ask, "Really? Why not?"
Conversation Starter #2:
"That's a cool watch/necklace/pair of shoes. Where did you get it?"
The amount of time women spend preparing for dates is enormous. Most women choose everything they wear with careful deliberation. When you notice the effort they've put in and ask about something they've chosen to wear, they will feel flattered and appreciated ... as well as get to talk about their clothes and accessories, which every girl enjoys.
Conversation Starter #3:
"Have you ever done X?"
It is important to establish common ground on your first date and find some common interests. By asking her if she's ever done something that you are knowledgeable about or enjoy doing, you can find out what you have in common. Just don't use the question as a platform to go on and on about your OWN interests--no matter how interested she seems to be. Women know how to act interested, even if they're not. Mention your own hobbies, then move on to finding out more about her.
Conversation Starter #4:
"Do you follow any sports teams?"
This can be a tricky question, because men are notorious for being sports buffs. Many women don't want to be with a guy who will blow them off when their favorite team is playing on a Saturday afternoon. However, if she does follow a sports team, you may find that you'll have an instant connection, and you'll be able to surprise her with tickets to her favorite team later down the line.
Conversation Starter #5:
"Have you ever been to Y?"
Everyone likes talking about places they've been. Ask her if she has ever been to a local hotspot that you enjoy. Maybe it's a club, a coffee shop, a museum, or even a park or hiking trail. If she hasn't been there, and you are hitting it off by that point, you can use the question as a springboard for asking her out on a second date!
Good luck! I hope that these conversation starters give you an edge to sweep the next woman you meet off her feet. In my book, "How to be Irresistible to Women," I give you many more chapters on other incredibly important traits that will make women find you extremely attractive, such as how to make women fall in love with you, how to be funny, the "tantalize" technique for seducing women, and more!
Matthew Whiting is a professional writer specializing in dating and
relationship advice. He has extensive experience in training men
to maximize their seduction potential and ability to interact with
women successfully. He is considered by many to be an expert in
his field with his frank and forthright approach. He is best known
for his work in "How to Be Irresistible to Women," which is part of
the 000Relationships network.
His product is a compilation of 7 life-changing e-books, a complete
16-part audio course, and a host of exclusive Members Articles. The
"How to Be Irresistible to Women" package offers single men a
dynamic and comprehensive tool-kit to attract women and establish
an honest and supportive relationship. You can learn more about how
to attract the woman of your dreams at:
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