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Always know what to say to a girl


Know What To Say To A Girl

Talking with a girl. What to say? What not to say? When to say it? How to say it?

These are questions that a lot of guys new to the game seem to struggle with. It’s surprising how something so trivial as having a person-to-person conversation can become so complex in the mind of some many men.

I’m here to take it back to basics.

There’s a very simple way to talk with a girl and always know what to say:

Treat it like a dance: You move with her, and always lead when the opportunity arises.

I’m going to use some actual conversations that took place between a guy I was personally training and some girls he talked to (keep in mind, he was just learning the game). To protect his privacy, we’ll just call him ”Bob”.

Let’s jump right into it. I’ll first post what Bob tried to use, then show you my own examples of what I would’ve said when talking to the same girl:

Bob: *Made a cocky comment*

Her: “Hah! Can you say ”cocky”?”

Bob: “Do you always make that look when your taking a pic? It’s very, sexy. Almost like you’re trying to impress someone?”

As you can see, Bob didn’t move with her or take the lead. She said something, then he seemed to just suddenly change topics randomly (probably because he didn’t know what to say).

Bad form. I would have gone with:

Her: “Hah! Can you say cocky?”

Me: “Sure, ”Cocky”. Now what do I win?”

Her: “Haha, nothing”

Me: “What the?! This is, like, the worst game ever. Let’s play something new.”

Her: “Okay, like what?”

You see how I would move with her and then take the lead when it is offered to me? Just like dancing. You can steer it into flirtatious or even sexual territory with any conversation when you talk to a girl, as long as it’s fun and non-threatening.

Here’s another example:

Her: “I really like playing basketball.”

Bob: “Are you going to play in college?”

Her: “Hell no, I’m not good enough!”

Bob: “Then get better! Hey, at least you can always make it in modeling!”

Here Bob found out that the girl likes to play basketball. So he wisely inquired about it. Then, after she replied (”hell no!”), Bob felt unsure of what to say, and resorted to the lame strategy of jumping off topic again. It’s important for you to remember: you take the lead when it is opened or offered, not just randomly. Remember the dance analogy.

I would have gone with:

Her: “Hell no, I’m not good enough!”

Me: “Hmm, well, you must be good at something, right?”

Her: “I hope so.”

Me: “Okay, my new mission is to find out what you’re good at.”

Her: “Haha. Okay”

Me: “Yup. Now let’s see, are you good at kissing?”

Again, same idea, dance then take the lead. Also take note of how to flipped it to a sexual conversation in a natural and fun way.

Let’s see another example:

Her: “Haha, but yeah,  first someone would have to want me to model something!”

Bob: “I would have you model everything! You must have a great body after all that b-ball practice.”

Here the girl was fishing for a compliment by feigning insecurity. She wanted to test Bob’s compliance by seeing if he would reassure and protect her (which is exactly what Bob did). The problem with that is that Bob showed his hand. By complying with her test, Bob sent a message that said: “I’m totally into you! Now you have all the power to accept or reject me! Here, sit on this pedestal so I can admire you from below and never get laid.”

Your strongest weapon in being attractive to women is being hard to read when you talk to them. You want to flirt with an attitude of indifference. You want her to always be unsure of just how much you like her. You ALWAYS want the perception of your relationship with her to be that she is more attracted to you than you are attracted to her.

Feel free to re-read that last sentence at many times as you need to until it sinks in.

I would have replied with:

Her: “Haha, but yeah,  first someone would have to want me to model something!”

Me: “So if someone wanted you to model something for them, you’d do it?”

Her: “Depends on what it is.”

Me: “I want you to model a giant Mexican sombrero for me!”

Her: “Hah! What?”

Me: “Oh yeah. That’s hot. But you have to talk with a Spanish accent while wearing it, too.”

Her: “Haha , what should I say?”

Me: “Something sexy.”

Like I said earlier, talking with a woman is just like dancing, and like any form of dancing in order to be good at it you need to understand the steps.

Understanding the steps when you talk to a girl is a simple matter of identifying the main subject of whatever she says, and then commenting or questioning on that.

Open-ended questions (who, what, where, when, why) are always better than close-ended questions (will, would, have, do), as closed-ended question only allow for yes or no answers. Open-ended questions encourage longer responses, and in turn – extremely better conversations.

Still, it’s better to ask a close-ended question than make no question or comment at all.

To summarize: you respond to the subject, then add an engaging statement or question to ‘lead’ her along. Then you just sit back and let her do the talking until she gives you a new topic to run with. Doing this, you’ll always know what to say when talking to a woman.

How about we go over some specific examples of this process in action (with good responses)?

Example 1:

Her: “Hah! Can you say cocky?”

Subject: Can you say cocky?

You: “Sure, ”cocky”. Now, what do I win?”

Example 2:

Her: “I have no one to impress!”

Subject: I have no one to impress.

You: “Sure you do. Me. Okay now, impress me.”

Example 3:

Her: “Nope nothing can top a man in uniform!”

Subject: Man in uniform.

You: “What is it about a man in uniform that turns you on?”

Example 4:

Her: “Hell no I am not good enough!”

Subject: I am not good.

You: “Well, what are you good at?”

Example 5:

Her: “But yeah, first someone would have to want me to model

Subject: Someone would have to want me to model.

You: “So if someone wanted you to model something, you’d do it?”

Example 6:

Her: “Haha! you would think that, but when you eat McDonalds a lot you don’t end up with that great of a body!”

Subject: When you eat McDonalds you don’t end up with a great body.

You: “I see. So you’re saying that if I want to see you naked, I shouldn’t take you to McDonalds first?”

So you see, you take the subject of what she said, then use it to continue talking to her, leading her along like in a dance.

That is how to always know exact what to say during a conversation with a girl. It’s simple to master and it’s bulletproof when done right.

This strategy also gives you the luxury of putting the spotlight on her to progress the conversation, you are simply ‘prodding’ her along. This forces her to be more involved in the conversation, which makes her enjoy it more (everyone likes participating actively), as well as occupies her conscious mind with formulating her responses, which takes her mind off of her body movements.

This gives you plenty of opportunities to observe her and study her body language for important clues about her personality and hidden messages that she may be sending and not even realize it (mostly messages about how much she likes you).

Here’s some more tips:


Slow responses can actually be very good. If you look relaxed and confident while you ‘think’ of your response, the pauses before your delivery will actually be sexual and dramatic.

There was an article that Kris Pipitone wrote about a friend of his who actively sought pauses in conversations because he was comfortable with the tension of silence, and it drove girls wild for him.

It’s the same concept.

As long as you respond well to her comments, the amount of time it takes you doesn’t matter. I’d rather take a while to come up with a good response than blurt out a bad one.


You already know that once you identify the subject you can turn it into a question or leading statement, but what happens when there’s multiple subjects?

Sometimes there are more than one subject in a statement, in that case, you can choose any subject and turn it into a question, or leading statement.


Her: I grew up on a horse ranch, in case you didn’t know, so I was always dirty and smelling like hay whenever boys talked to me, and I think that kind of made them think of me as a tomboy, or just some smelly girl, so I ended up not having a boyfriend until I was 19.”

Here, there are so many subjects you might think: “WTF do I say! Information overload.”

However, you COULD choose ANY of the subjects to roll with. You don’t need to address them all. Anything she says means she’s willing to talk about it (otherwise, she wouldn’t have mentioned it at all).

Now any of these subjects can be elaborated on wen you respond to her. All you need to do is ask or make a leading or funny statement, it doesn’t matter WHAT you say, as long as you address the subject in order to encourage her to talk more about it.

But which subject to pick? I mean, this girl seemed to ramble on and on about a million different things in one breath. Where do you go with it?

Well, our conversational minds usually don’t plan things out before we speak, as a result, we usually ‘talk’ fluff until what we actually want to say finds its way to the surface.

This means that the LAST thing we say is usually the most important.

Here we can see that this makes sense, as the last subject the girl you’re talking to said was “I ended up not having a boyfriend until I was 19”. Since this was the last subject she brought up, we can correctly assume that it is the most important one to her, so we will be doing her a great service by pursuing that subject.

Ask a question about it:

“So do you feel like you were a late bloomer?”
“How did you meet your first boyfriend?”

Or make a funny comment about the subject:

“That’s okay, I didn’t have a boyfriend until I was 19 either.”
“You know, an imaginary friend doesn’t count as a boyfriend.”

To make sure you understand, it doesn’t matter WHAT you really say, just as long as you address the subject in order to encourage further interaction her part. Always knowing what to talk about with a girl is all about identifying the subject, and then running off of that.

It’s simple. It’s easy. Done and done.

So there, how to talk to a woman has been explained. You now have no excuse for not knowing what to say when talking to a girl.

Game on!

If you’ve enjoyed this article and really want to learn some even more effective strategies for talking to girls (and everything else too), then check out my new book: “Rising Star Seduction Program”.

You’re going to love it!

Your friend,

Julian Webb

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